(Closed) Bridesmaid trouble – bachelorette nightmare

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@BrideFromTheBeach:  that’s so unfair of these ladies who are supposed to be closest to you to stir up drama leading up to your wedding. I would talk to the two friends when they’re able, but this Maid/Matron of Honor business and tweeting awful things about you is not okay. Did you officially uninvite her now?  And what about the other 2 ladies?  Were you able to sort things out with them?  All the best!

Post # 35
442 posts
Helper bee

@BrideFromTheBeach:  “Turns out Maid/Matron of Honor never picked up her dress when she said. I was able to grab it on my lunch break before. I’m going to mail her a check for the dress and include a note saying that we are no longer friends therefore she is no longer needed in the wedding party and no longer invited to the wedding reception.”

Whoa up, chica! Did YOU order the dress, or did (former) MOH? If she ordered it (e.g., signed the order slip, paid for it/deposit, or whatever), and you picked it up and are just sending her a check – while that would be awesome to do – if she is being that big a biatch, she could have a legal action against you for essentially stealing the dress. If she’s the sabotage-type, she might say, “No, I ordered the dress, I paid for it, it’s mine” … and if she did, technically, she’d be right (though I cannot imagine wanting to keep a dress that not only did I pay for but will now not wear for the purpose that I bought it).

My point is – do not invite more trouble with this bat-shit crazy chic by taking something that legally does not belong to you. Now, if YOU ordered the dresses, paid for them, and they reimbursed YOU for the cost, then you are okay, I’d think, because you are providing a remedy (e.g., reimbursement) to your “contract” with her to purchase the dress.

Good luck with the other girls. I gotta say though … if you’re that unphased by the loss of your Maid/Matron of Honor as your friend, how were you guys that close before that you asked her to be your MOH? It doesn’t sound like the friendship/s are all that tight to me, but I’m sure there’s more to the story than what is here.

Post # 37
442 posts
Helper bee

@BrideFromTheBeach:  I’m not a lawyer, mind you; I just have a keen interest in law, and did study law in college. I would say/guess that as long as YOU placed the order at the store (dresses were in your name), and you are sending her a reimbursement check for the dress that is now in your posession, you have met your duty to remedy the ‘broken contract’.


I am not aware of any legal recourse or precedent for a Bridesmaid or Best Man who is kicked out of a bridal party and stuck with a dress being able to sue the bride for the cost of the dress, so I think – given the circumstances and that you ARE repaying her – you’re good.


Do you have a replacement Bridesmaid or Best Man in mind who might be able to wear the dress?




Post # 39
442 posts
Helper bee

@BrideFromTheBeach:  Before you send her the check, I would send her a politely worded email stating that you picked up the dress since you ordered it. If she wants it, fine; if not, you will send her a check – what does she want to do? I wouldn’t tell her or anyone else that you are not planning to replace her in the wedding party – it’s not anyone else’s business at this point.

Doing this covers your butt because it’s in writing. Also, if she says she wants the dress, then you can just drop it off to her or she can pick it up, and you’re not out any money.


Post # 40
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


Wow, Its amazing how all of these types of “drama’s” start. I feel your pain. My Maid/Matron of Honor and I are no longer on speaking terms (and shes my sister & best friend). I think its good that you decided to X her from the wedding. She clearly didn’t care enough about you as a friend to keep her jealousy and obsession with drama in check. 


I am very close to telling my sister she is no longer Maid/Matron of Honor & not in the wedding at all anymore. It is the worst position for a bride to be in to have to make that decision. Anyone in your life who puts you in that position, is probably not a good person to have in your life period. Weddings are a tricky thing.


I remember when my younger sister was planning her wedding. I was going through a breakup at the time and really struggling. The day after my breakup I helped her organize & send out her invitations & even paid for postage. She was quite the bridezilla and expected us all to check in with her everyday about the wedding. I spent $1500 on her wedding, anytime she had a tantrum or freak out, I was there to stabilize the situation for her. I planned, catered & paid for a lot of the Bridal shower. For her bachelorette party I arranged for everything (hotel, dinner, bars, and even made her a penis cake). 


Its especially hard to accept people bailing out on you, or worse ruining your special experiences during this time, when you have been SO there for everyone else. Its extremely hurtful and maddening. Its kinda an unspoken rule that BM’s & MOH’s keep the peace leading up to a wedding. Not create drama & intentional attacks on the bride. 


I feel for you, I am going through something very similar and am trying to get to the point where I don’t care anymore. I really want to just focus on having a wonderful experience with my Fiance and our true family & friends. 

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