(Closed) Bridesmaid trouble… help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d say she either lashed out with something she knew would hurt you because she felt defensive, or she’s been harbouring some anger or frustration against you and that’s what came out.

Maybe a fully honest conversation where you both clear the air, no judgement? It might be painful but it might be neccesary. And if she doesn’t want to talk then you’ve sort of exhausted your options.

Post # 4
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It sounds to me like she thought she was being a good friend by being there for you when you need her and then you acted like it didn’t matter at all. I think it’s understandable that she was hurt and that she would mention why she was hurt. I would suggest that you apologize for taking her for granted and explain that her comment was also hurtful. Have a good talk, clear the air, and don’t lose a friend over something like this.

Post # 6
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@silvershybride: I know how that feels. Fighting dirty is just that — it’s dirty and mean and cruel and makes you feel like someone just pushed you down in the mud. And when it’s about something sensitive and personal and meaningful, well, it makes you almost feel embarassed that you trusted that person and upset that they would minimize it into something to be slung at you.

That being said, when people fight dirty its usually to get a reaction. When my fiance is trying to take the high road and not engage in a fight, I sometimes end up slinging something cruel at him just so he’ll respond.

If I were you, I guess I’d just keep weighing my pros and cons. You say that if she isn’t in the wedding the friendship will be over, but if she is in the wedding you might regret it. If she’s in the wedding and you regret it I’d say that would mean the friendship is over anyway. I’d explain to her just how badly her comment hurt, why it hurt, how you feel about telling her personal things anymore… and get her side of it, her reasoning and her explanation.

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