(Closed) Bridesmaid trouble :( HELP

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Wow… what a crappy thing to do to a friend.  Fortunately, that friend WASN’T you… Unfortunately, it (kind-of-but-not-really) puts you in the middle. 

If I were your Maid/Matron of Honor… I would confront the friend (on principle) with pitchforks and the like.  She is supposed to be HER friend!! But as for you, it’s really not your business… I hate to say it, but involving yourself in someone else’s drama, especially between two friends, right before your wedding will just bring out bad vibes and uncomfortable moments.  Despite the fact that your Bridesmaid or Best Man was wrong, she is still your friend. 

Would you be as apt to ask her to step down if she slept with someone that you didn’t know’s bf?

Post # 5
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

make that Bridesmaid or Best Man step down

Post # 6
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Rosieposie: Well then I would tell her given the circumstances, you think it is best that she not attend. It would make you and Maid/Matron of Honor uncomfortable. Some “friendsships” run their course and don’t work out.

Post # 7
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Rosieposie: Well then I would tell her given the circumstances, you think it is best that she not attend. It would make you and Maid/Matron of Honor uncomfortable. Some “friendships” run their course and don’t work out.

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Rosieposie: I would ask her to step down, but do it discretely.

Just say that you really want your wedding to be about lasting and strong relationships and the fact that she recently slept with another woman’s boyfriend (regardless of who it was) really goes against your vision for your wedding day.

Post # 10
Member
4583 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you didn’t want her in the wedding in the first place and she’s proven herself to be a lousy friend, definitely ask her to step down. Even if it means having uneven sides at the wedding, it won’t be a big deal. I wouldn’t want someone like that standing up there with me on my wedding day.

Post # 10
Member
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Be there for your best friend, your Maid/Matron of Honor, and let the Bridesmaid or Best Man know that she is no longer welcome to be in the wedding party. I would tell her she is no longer welcome at the wedding, period.

Sometimes etiquitte should be trumped by logic.

Post # 11
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Absolutely ask the Bridesmaid or Best Man to step down… I can’t believe she asked you if she could be in your bridal party!!!!  Your poor MOH!

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Rosieposie: Like I said above you have a valid reason to ask her not to be a part of your day anymore.

She has recently acted as a “destroyer of relationships” rather than a “supporter of relationships”.

Hopefully she will understand and step down quietly, if not you can always hire security.

Post # 13
Member
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Rosieposie: Sounds like you’ve made your mind up then. Sorry you have the extra stress and your poor Maid/Matron of Honor 🙁

Post # 14
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would either stay out of it, it really isn’t your business or ask the Bridesmaid or Best Man to step down if you think there will be drama

Post # 15
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Given that she is only a Bridesmaid or Best Man because she asked and you felt cornered and picked your Maid/Matron of Honor because she is your BFF, I would ask her no to only step down.. but also not come to my wedding. I am very protective of my friends and if someone wants to hurt my BEST friend I take that as a personal attack as well. It is not about “staying out of other peoples’ buisness” it is about your best friend. My best friend is a sister to me, no less than family. I love her and would not want this person around her unless there were torches and pitch forks involved. KICK HER OUT!

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