(Closed) Bridesmaid Troubles

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@aphelps28:  what color have you chosen? Can you just give the girls a paint swatch and ask them to get a short dress in that color and your pic of fabric. You are never going to find a dress that all 10 women will like and  that will look good on all 10 of them.

Post # 4
1129 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@aphelps28:  ugh, I feel you. I’ve been there.

If you just want to end this, have you considered missmatched bridesmaid dresses? You just give them a color, and they can wear whatever they want in that color.

I am doing missmatched necklines. The bottom of the dress will be the same for everyone.

Post # 5
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@aphelps28:  I love that dress! As a size 14 in dresses, I did try that on this summer for a friends wedding, and I hated it 🙁 it’s so beautiful, but uncomfortable and not very forgiving. I even tried it on one size up because that’s all they had and it barely fit. 

With 10 girls, I would give them a color and a designer and length. Check out Weddington way, that’s where my girls are getting  their deesses. 

Post # 6
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

I feel for you I do…

In reality, being a Bride (or a Bridesmaid) comes with reponsibilities… and expenses.  I think nowadays a lot of Brides & Bridesmaids are quick to jump on the bandwagon without fully understanding that concept.

Being in the Bridal Party… still means a lot more than just putting on a nice outfit and posing for photos.

Unfortunately a lot of Brides & Bridal Parties don’t know this going into the arrangement.

Which is WHY I advocate that everyone in this situation have a sit down to fully comprehend the role… and the responsibilities, expenses, and other expectations… so there will be no disappointments / hurt feelings… or friendships on the rocks down the road.

Traditionally, the division of things was much more clearer, and cost wise a lot more fair than it is today.

Generally, speaking Brides & Grooms bore the larger financially burden when they asked their nearest & dearest to stand up for them.  They were doing you a great favour, and so they were treated better, and fairer.

Which is also why… traditionally there were only a Maid/Matron of Honor, and perhaps a few other Bridesmaids if any at all.

See Traditional Bridesmaids Roles, Responsibilities & Expenses here in a past post I’ve done on WBee (Reply # 15) = http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/afraid-of-being-called-a-bridezilla#axzz2jGcX7ujs

As for your current situation:

I STRONGLY suggest you sit down and think all this thru… and figure out what is important to you and what isn’t (make a list)

You might even want to call a pow-wow if everyone lives close by…

Otherwise you’ll have to get the word out as you can… and clear the air, and go back thru how YOU define the roles and what you will be doing as the Bride in regards to this whole experience for them… and what you expect from each of them

And if the dresses aren’t bought yet, I’d give each girl the chance to change her mind to being a Bridesmaid or Best Man once she hears what is what.

Personally, as I said, I’d go with a smaller well treated clearly defined Bridal Party every time vs one that is not cohesive and filled with discord.

Better to have ones absolute closest friends surrounding you (standing up for you) on your big day, than an bunch of very unhappy acquaintances in your photos who you won’t be talking to 5 years down the road (or 10 minutes after the I Dos… if they are truly p!ssed off)

By Best Advice…

Go for QUALITY over Quantity

Hope this helps,



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