(Closed) Bridesmaid troubles

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

“If you can’t afford it, don’t be in the wedding” that’s all I would say

Post # 4
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Winter12: I agree with mwitter80.  Just tell her that you understand that she needs to back out due to finances but you hope she’ll still come as a guest. (That is, unless you don’t even want her as a guest and that’s a whole other convo.)

Post # 6
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Wow. Everyone knows it can be expensive to be a bridesmaid, but in my opinion, being asked is an honor and I was more than happy to scrounge together whatever I needed to participate in my best friend’s recent wedding. That’s the appropriate attitude. Your wedding is more than a month away, and the prices you’ve listed are not at all unreasonable. I agree with the other ladies – tell her if she’s unable or unwilling, you’ll be happy to find another way for her to participate.

Post # 7
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i would would it the way RobynB worded it.  i don’t know how you feel about keeping her as a bridesmaid but if she can’t afford it then there isn’t anything you can do.  frankly i find it a bit odd since the dress, shoes, and make up/hair you listed are cheap (compared to more bridesmaids’ costs).  

i feel like the line she crossed though was asking you to pay for her bf and his kid.  i can see maybe asking to be spotted some cash to cover SOME bridesmaid expenses until she has enough but not all of what she asked for.  that’s kinda ridiculous.

i’m sorry you have to go through this. 

Post # 8
Member
97 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@Winter12: I’m sorry you have to deal with her. Sounds like a character. Don’t give her the power to ruin your day. Only moms and grandmoms and FMILs can do that! (jking – Smile)

Post # 9
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

That is cheap for the dress and shoes.  Where is she traveling from?  I can’t believe she asked you to pay for her Boyfriend or Best Friend and kid. 

Post # 11
Member
1774 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I was expecting that she was going to be paying for a flight and hotel the way she was complaining. I still can’t believe she asked you to buy clothes for her Boyfriend or Best Friend and kid!  Who does that?  While you aren’t asking for much, how do you know that she can afford the dress and shoes?  (I am not trying to argue, just pointing out that sometimes we don’t always know the financial situation.)

Unless you really want her in the wedding, I would tell her you can’t pay for those things, and if it’s too much, you will understand her bowing out, which might be for the best.

Post # 13
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

being a bridesmaid is a priviledge, not a right, and she would do well to remember that.  It sounds like she’s chancing her arm, to see what she can get away with.  I would nicely, but firmly put your foot down, tell her you appreciate it’s expensive to be in a wedding and give her the chance to bow out.  If she doesn’t, let her know that there’s no way your paying for anyones outfits, and you hope she understands.  She shouldn’t be in the wedding if she can’t afford to fulfill her duties x

Post # 14
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would let her know that she has to pay for this on her own, as you have your own responsibilities. Tell her that if she feels she can no longer afford everything, now would be the time for her to step down. Also mention that you appreciate her being honest but you do not have the extra funds. I hope it all works out.

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