(Closed) Bridesmaid VENT… SIL to be is turning into Bridezilla… Any suggestions?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Trying to plan a wedding in 8 weeks sounds like hell to me honestly.

What exactly are you upset about?

28 for a dress doesn’t sound expensive at all. Or are they no longer using that dress?

What is she asking you to buy and how much is she asking you to spend?

It sucks to only have 1 day to find a dress, but with the tight time frame she’s on it sounds like you really have no choice.

Post # 4
28 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

She sounds like she’s upset at their lack of consideration. The dress is just a symptom of the main problem.

Sounds like what’s keeping you in the wedding is your commitment to your brother. This obviously isn’t the ideal wedding for a bridesmaid (IMHO for anyone in a bridal party… 8 weeks is crazy), but at the end of the day, it sounds like you’re doing this out of loyalty for your brother.  It’s good of you to do that.  The reality is though that stress brings out the worst in people. As harsh as reality may be, although the bride’s choice may signify to you that she is inconsiderate and rude, at the end of the day it is really about supporting your brother and tolerating her antics for now. You don’t have to be excited about his wedding (although I know that is a big disappointment), but unless you’re willing to basically talk your brother out of getting married completely (or dropping out of the wedding yourself), your only viable option is to grit your teeth and bear it for now.

I guess you can speak to the bride directly, but know that some people don’t handle stress well and that may open a can of worms that you don’t want to deal with. You’re right, this is not really about the dress.. it’s about this quick wedding and your reaction to last-minute planning. Essentially, at this point you can either choose to tolerate it, or speak up to your brother & his fiance.

Good luck. I’m sorry that it seems like they are taking your and your son for granted. 


Post # 5
741 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Well, I guess the silver lining is because it is such a quick wedding, the drama will be over soon. I’d grin and bear it for the short term just to maintain family relations. Good luck trying to stay sane. 

Post # 6
1346 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’d say to just give her a bit of a break because 8 weeks is a very short period to cram in all the wedding crazy!

Is it possible to use the sari for the ceremony too?

Post # 8
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

I am a big stickler for church-appropriate attire. However in this case, I think it’s best to just suck in up for whatever time is left- 2 weeks or a month? If you try to  talk to the bride, I think she’ll snap- based on the fact that she’s having trouble making decisions.

Could you suggest that the bridesmaids wear dresses a size larger, so it’s not so tight? Just a thought. 

Post # 9
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s like a roller coaster ride you want off of. Just grin(smile) and bare it an it will be over in no time. Since this wedding is a week away it’s just not worth the drama that speaking up will cause. Just keep thinking of your brother and how much he will be needing your support before, during, and especially after the wedding.

Post # 10
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It sounds stressful but the beauty of a very short engagement like this is that it will be over soon! Hang in there!


Post # 11
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree, 120 quid for bridesmaid apparrel is steep (US Bees – that’s almost $240).  Can’t you just wear the Sari?  Is that already bought and paid for?  I don’t understand why you need two outfits.  Really, if she wants multiple dresses she should offer to pay for the second dress.

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