Post # 17
Asked Fiance. He’s cool with having them both on his side (“because I’m the favorite and everyone wants to be on my side”). We’ll just have them recess together if she wants to be a groomsman. Now we just need to talk to her and see what she wants to do.
Does anyone have any ideas about how to ask her to be a bridesmaid? I was wanting to do something cute for all of them, but given the circumstances I don’t want it to come across as bribing her if I give it to her beforehand or awkwardly give it to her weeks later. Should I prepare it and bring it with me and when she decides give it to her? Should I find a way to may to tailor it for either bridesmaids or groomsmen in case she chooses him, she can still get something?
That’s something else I hadn’t thought of. I don’t know who I’d ask, though. With the girls I have now, the longest I’ve known since birth (our moms are best friends), the shortest I’ve known for 8 or 9 years now. There aren’t many other people that I feel super close to besides them… I have other friends, but none that I’d really considered for bridesmaids.
Post # 18
Your brother could stand on your side, and Future Sister-In-Law could stand on her brother’s side, but Future Sister-In-Law could still help you plan, and attend your bachelorette/bridal shower, and even get ready with you and the other bridesmaids the morning of (and vice versa for your brother). And if your Future Sister-In-Law wanted to help her brother with some stuff, and you wanted your brother to help you with some stuff, that would be fine too. As for what to call them, just leave it up to them. Just leave it ambigous when you ask them, like you could just ask your brother to be in your wedding party, and let him know that he can call himself whatever term he feels comfortable with.
Post # 19
1) I think you said it right here in the post. Just tell her tha tyou were planning to ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but know she expressed interest in being a Groomsmen. Tell her that you want her involved in whichever way works better for her and let her choose.
2) I do not think it’s weird to give her a “will you be my BM” gift after she’s decided. It would be weird if she was still deciding between you and your bro.
I would not be surprised if your Mother-In-Law got involved and told her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, as Texas mothers are more apt to go with the traditional approach. Of course, I don’t know your Mother-In-Law persay.
Post # 20
My friend had a guy as her “Man of Honor” and the groom had a ” Best Lady” then the rest were traditional. Looked cool in photos.
I would get her a gift from the both of you. Expressing how much you both want her involved, tell her your vision and original plans but explain the flexibility and see what happens from there.
Post # 21
My family’s all Texan, but FI’s from a military family. His mama’s from Washington state and Future Father-In-Law is originally from the New England area. They aren’t very traditional to begin with, though. Future Mother-In-Law is more likely to raise a fuss about me trying to force her to be something she’s not or something like that. She’s done that before with Fiance…
Post # 22
It seems like your Future Sister-In-Law wants to be on the groom’s side and so does your brother – why not let them both AND let your Fiance keep all his friends as groomsmen?
I’m having 2 attendants – my best friend and my sister, my Fiance is having 5 attendants, his brother, sister, and 3 best female friends. I don’t see why sides need to be gender traditional or even.
I just saw your later posts about uneven sides being ok. Sounds like you’re on the right track to me. I think what is most important is that you make everyone feel comfortable.
Post # 23
Could it be that the sister just said that because she wants to be in the bridal party? She may have no idea you were going to ask, and thought that might be the only way in?
Post # 24
Its uncommon here as well but we did it anyway I had a man of honor and he had a groomsmaid