(Closed) Bridesmaid vs Groomsmaid/Bridesman vs Groomsman

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 18
802 posts
Busy bee

Your brother could stand on your side, and Future Sister-In-Law could stand on her brother’s side, but Future Sister-In-Law could still help you plan, and attend your bachelorette/bridal shower, and even get ready with you and the other bridesmaids the morning of (and vice versa for your brother). And if your Future Sister-In-Law wanted to help her brother with some stuff, and you wanted your brother to help you with some stuff, that would be fine too. As for what to call them, just leave it up to them. Just leave it ambigous when you ask them, like you could just ask your brother to be in your wedding party, and let him know that he can call himself whatever term he feels comfortable with. 

Post # 19
5866 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

1) I think you said it right here in the post.  Just tell her tha tyou were planning to ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but know she expressed interest in being a Groomsmen.  Tell her that you want her involved in whichever way works better for her and let her choose.

2) I do not think it’s weird to give her a “will you be my BM” gift after she’s decided.  It would be weird if she was still deciding between you and your bro.

I would not be surprised if your Mother-In-Law got involved and told her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, as Texas mothers are more apt to go with the traditional approach.  Of course, I don’t know your Mother-In-Law persay.

Post # 20
352 posts
Helper bee

My friend had a guy as her “Man of Honor” and the groom had a ” Best Lady” then the rest were traditional.  Looked cool in photos. 

I would get her a gift from the  both of you.  Expressing how much you both want her involved, tell her your vision and original plans but explain the flexibility and see what happens from there.


Post # 22
430 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
@HonoraryNerd:  It seems like your Future Sister-In-Law wants to be on the groom’s side and so does your brother – why not let them both AND let your Fiance keep all his friends as groomsmen?


I’m having 2 attendants – my best friend and my sister, my Fiance is having 5 attendants, his brother, sister, and 3 best female friends.  I don’t see why sides need to be gender traditional or even.


I just saw your later posts about uneven sides being ok.  Sounds like you’re on the right track to me.  Laughing  I think what is most important is that you make everyone feel comfortable.


Post # 23
218 posts
Helper bee

Could it be that the sister just said that because she wants to be in the bridal party? She may have no idea you were going to ask, and thought that might be the only way in?

Post # 24
2481 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Its uncommon here as well but we did it anyway I had a man of honor and he had a groomsmaid 

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