- 8 years ago
- Wedding: December 1969
So I have one bridesmaid that is heavier than my others; partly because my sister and my FI’s sister are pretty skinny. She’s struggled with body-image stuff for as long as I’ve known her and I’m trying to figure out how to be sensitive and supportive. I personally lost 20 pounds about 2.5 years ago and so I know where she’s coming from – I remember what it felt like to hate the way everything looked on me and the hating the way I looked in pictures, so I do understand when she worries about her weight. (I also lost the weight I lost because I was the heaviest girl in a wedding party and I didn’t want to feel like crap about myself; so I definitely understand how she feels.)
So now we’re going to start going dress shopping, and she has made comments about losing weight for my wedding, but she hasn’t yet and I don’t want her to do some kind of horrible crash diet that is bad for her just because of my wedding. She’s my friend and I love her and I want her there, but I don’t want her to hate her dress, me, or the pictures. So how do I avoid this? I’m pretty sure that they will be picking their own dresses along the same color palette – this is both to avoid cost issues and figure issues, since they are all different shapes.
I’m somewhat concerned that she won’t want to order her dress 3-4 months in advance because she “won’t be the size I want to be” yet, but I don’t want her to drag her feet and not have a dress. Is there a polite way to tell her that I want her to buy a dress that fits her in July, and if she loses more/any weight, she can buy another dress that fits her then?
Also, we haven’t gone dress shopping yet, but we’re scheduling a trip now and I’m worried about going places that only have size 8 samples. I know when I went shopping for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, it was always depressing to not fit the samples. I’m thinking of adding a trip to David’s to our Bridesmaid or Best Man shopping day because I remember them at least having sizes for bridesmaids dresses – can somebody verify? Any other ideas to help her feel comfortable with shopping?
Any other recommendations for how to be sensitive and supportive about the situation? What are the worst mistakes that brides make when it comes to dealing with heavier bridesmaids?