(Closed) Bridesmaid wanting times to come get ready

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
5245 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

What time are you asking them to be there? What do they have to do on the morning of instead? 

It’s probably not the case of having “better things” to so, people have other responsibilities though. 

Post # 3
Member
7972 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
bunnkiwi7117 :  What time is your wedding and how many hours before the wedding are you expecting them to arrive? 

Post # 4
Member
3437 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Yes, its unreasonable. If they wanted to show up on time and do their own hair and make up before arriving then that should be up to them as well. Everyones not jumping to spend the day getting ready together and honestly some people aren’t even comfortable with the idea. I think you’re making this bigger than it needs to be. As long as they arrive with enough time to be ready to walk down the aisle then let it go.

Post # 5
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

They may be anticipating a long day and hoping to sleep in a little so they can enjoy your ceremony/ reception without being burnt out and yawning mid-evening, wedding days are often long and draining on all involved. Or they may be puzzled by a time much earlier than expected. Or there may be other factors- child minding/ pet sitter/ out of town drive?

What time is the ceremony and what time are they expected to arrive to get ready? 

Post # 6
Member
918 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Your approach may have to vary from mine if you aren’t paying for hair and makeup, but that said, I’m just telling my bridesmaids when they need to be there. I booked and am paying for their hair and makeup to get done. The scheduled start time is based off of my ceremony time (working backward of course). You might have to put your foot down about the timing, because running late can really impact your wedding.

If they’re paying for their own makeup and hair, however, you might have a harder time getting them there earlier. 

Post # 7
Member
14144 posts
Honey Beekeeper

In reality the only obligation you should impose is to be there shortly before the ceremony. If you want a few photos in the bridal room just before then as long as they are ready to go for that you should not be micromanaging. If you are providing or paying for hair and makeup and they accept then you can simply offer the choice of being there at a certain time or DIY or go to their own salon and get there later. 

Post # 8
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Mine were the same..a few thought 8 AM was too early (but the wedding was at 1). They got there around 11 right before pictures. It did make me feel kind of bad too because you just imagine everyone getting ready together but I did not push the issue, I just let them come when they wanted. I was in a wedding before where we had to be there at 9, wedding was at 5. We sat around doing nothing for several hours. I am curious when you’re asking them to be there vs when your wedding starts, really makes a difference.

Post # 9
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

I think that’s kind of rude. You know that you signed up to be a bridesmaid and you need to show up at a certain time for hair and makeup. Get your shit together, you know this event is coming up and you need to be there. Other responsibilities or not, you signed on, the least you can do is show up when the bride asks you to, especially for hair and makeup.

I’d be firm, tell them they need to arrive by X time so that everyone can get finished on time. Some MUAs will require the bride to go last, so I wouldn’t be telling anyone they can go last in line before the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I was just in a wedding this weekend where I got my hair and makeup done at 7am for a ceremony at 4:30pm. We were able to have about a half hour to an hour of time to get our dresses on and stuff before some pictures at 2:30, but I was the first of the girls to get my stuff done. The bride’s sister originally had that time but she didn’t want to get up so early. I’m used to waking up earlier than that for work, so I volunteered. There were about 6 ppl to get stuff done so it really did take up most of that time between when I started and when we were supposed to be completely ready. I went out and got us chik fil a breakfast around 9:30 and we got pizza around noon. It was an early day for me, but still fun to hang out all day. 🙂

Post # 11
Member
4905 posts
Honey bee

Some people aren’t morning people.  Also this takes up a whole day probably – I only have so much time to get things done on the weekend as is.  They probably know they’ll want to drink and enjoy the party and wake up late the next day, so yeah… other people’s lives don’t just stop because you are getting married.  People run errands and enjoy having downtime and use their weekends to do a lot of things they don’t get done in the week and weddings usually monopolize a lot of that time as it is.  I don’t think it is unreasonable to not want to sit around watching other people get hair and makeup done when you could do other things.  Honestly, that sounds super boring to me.

Post # 12
Member
6952 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

What time are you asking them to be there?

For my wedding, pretty much all of my BMs asked to go last for hair and makeup…the reason being they didn’t want to have to sit around all day all done up just waiting. Which I totally get, I hate when I’ve had to do that too for weddings! But the fact of the matter is that not everyone can go last. Unless you have a hair and makeup person for each and every bridal party member, there has to be an order. So I just told them that. 

Post # 13
Member
338 posts
Helper bee

I would try not to take this personally. It is rude for them to ask to go last unless they have a small  child at home or reason to come late, but they most likely just want to sleep in and relax before a long day. Wedding days can be very long and getting ready first and then waiting around while other’s get their hair/makeup done isn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

Post # 14
Member
1039 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
bunnkiwi7117 :  You’re upset that your bridesmaids have a life and other obligations than sitting around all day waiting for hair & makeup with you?? Get over yourself.   

 

I’ve been a bridesmaid so many times (10+) and I’ve always been given “my” time to show up for hair & makeup, ie – say H/MU started at 1pm for a 6:30 ceremony, my time to show up was 3pm.  The party kind of grows all day as girls finish rather than everyone waiting around for their turn.  

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