(Closed) Bridesmaid wants her baby at our wedding

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 32
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think most of the people on this thread are making two assumptions:  (1) katiei invited her Future Sister-In-Law after she got pregnant or had the baby, and (2) whatever sitter they find will be a complete stranger to Future Sister-In-Law.  I did not make either of those assumptions.

I would never leave my child with a baby sitter I didn’t know very well, regardless of the age of my child, and I completely agree that it is asking too much for Future Sister-In-Law to leave her 6 month old with a random sitter.

Again, take this with a grain of salt because I’ve never had kids… but I have coworkers who came back to work 3 months after their babies were born, working 8 hours days, and they are doing just fine using a breast pump in the bathroom when they need to.  Yeah I know breast pumps don’t work for everyone, and yeah I know some babies refuse to drink breast milk from a bottle, but that option is worth a try.

Post # 33
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

FWIW, my salon did prohibit kids being on the salon floor. They had a separate conference room that we set up breakfast in and then the two mothers in my party brought someone along to watch the kids while they were having their hair done or passed the kid off to another Bridesmaid or Best Man who had agreed to do this in advance. I also asked for no kids during the getting me into the dress time, but there was some time before that where we were just hanging out having lunch and I did not mind the kids being there then. All my events were in one place (except the salon) so the fathers of the kids were onsite and able to take them when my BMs were needed to lace up my dress.

Post # 34
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’m going to be in that exact same situation in a few months here. Both my sister and my fiance’s sister are set to have babies this summer and our wedding is in October. I like kids, but I also want a calm, peaceful morning before I make this huge step in my life – and babies don’t exactly scream calm, peaceful morning. I don’t have much advice since I haven’t figured out where these new kiddos will be staying while my 2 new mommy bridesmaids are fulfilling their bridesmaid duties…but know that you’re not alone.

Post # 35
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I absolutely love children!  But if you don’t, and it is going to stress you out I think you, Future Mother-In-Law or your Fiance should talk to SIL.  The truth is, even the “best” babies sometimes have bad days, and won’t stop screaming.  You never know when one of those days will strike!

Others have suggested it, why don’t you give her the option of coming to the salon w/out baby or meeting you guys there.  Maybe you could even arrange to have her hair/makeup done towards the end, so she wouldn’t have to be there w/out baby for quite as long.

I think jenbrander made a good point.  Tons of women work full time soon after a baby, some don’t.  But to assume that all mothers are incapable of leaving their child is a little bit of a stretch.

One of my BM’s is having a baby this Aug, and our wedding is next June, so she’ll be about 10 months old.  Her hubby is being deployed soon after the baby is born, and she will be travelling for the wedding.  I’m hoping some of her fam will step up to sit for much of the weekend….but I’m not about to cross that bridge quite yet though 🙂

You cared enough to post this, so I’m sure that you will be able to patch together enough advice to come to a solution that works for everyone!  It is your day, and it is important that you are able to enjoy it!


Post # 36
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

it sounds like your Future Mother-In-Law might share your opinion, so maybe inlist her to talk to your Future Sister-In-Law to at least have a babysitter for the little one.

i am like you – i dont really want kids at all around me on my wedding day. i tolerate kids when i have to, but for the one time i can dictate my space, on a day i want to remember for the rest of my life, yeah i dont want any child near me – toddler, newborn, tween – whatever. no thank you.

im just not a kid person. period.

and you arent alone. my Future Sister-In-Law has a 4 year old that is not gonna be in the wedding and frankly i dont want any where near me (no reflection on her as a child, i just, again dont like kids). So i think the inlaws are bringing a sitter.

tread lightly though, she is a Future Sister-In-Law, so best not to trample on a young mother’s fragile feelings. it might cause problems down the road.

i dont think your request is unreasonable either though. maybe have a room next door where she can be with baby (and whomever the family member sitter is) so she can slip out when she feels like it while yall are getting ready?

Post # 37
888 posts
Busy bee

I have a similar situation – my partner’s sister will be bringing her 8 month old  and I was actually not super happy about this at first  – in my case b/c our wedding is in Las Vegas and I cannot think of a worse place for a little baby than a hotel in Vegas with a casino in it!!!

But the baby is very little and she is not comfortable leaving her home.  And now, I have come around and am really excited to meet the new baby and have a cute little baby at our wedding.  Okay, I still think a baby in Vegas with all of that smoke and noise is a horrible idea personally, but it is not my child and I want her to make her own choice.  I think you should do the same for the sake of family peace.

If you think about it, babies don’t really disrupt anything.  If the baby cries, I would hope someone would bring the little one outside to quite down but that’s basically it.  Little kids are the ones who act up at events like weddings!  The baby will probably fall asleep.

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