(Closed) Bridesmaid wants to bring a friend

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Firegirl: If you did put “and guest” on the invitiation youre kind of stuck.  It would be rude to take it back, especially if shes your Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I get the money thing, but its only one person.. She is your Bridesmaid or Best Man and I dont think its horrible to include one other person.. good luck… trust me I know it sucks… I tried to cut out half our family cuz I dont speak to them anyways and I felt like why should i pay that much per person for people who dont care enough about me to say Merry christmas once a year?!? anyways good luck

Post # 4
3942 posts
Honey bee

Sorry  but I think you need to suck it up. You put guest on the invitation to her so I don’t think its mean of her to invite a guest. How would she know you didn’t mean it?

Post # 5
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If you put “and guest” on the invite then she gets a guest.  You can’t take it back.  And it’s pretty customary to give bridal party members the courtesy of a plus one anyway….  If you did put “and guest” you also cannot dictate who she brings, regardless of whether you know the person or not. 

Post # 6
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@shaydenise: agreed. let her have a date. going solo to a wedding can be depressing and if she was expecting a plus one all along, you can’t change it now.

Post # 7
2588 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Let her bring a date. It was your mistake; you can’t go back on your word now.

Post # 8
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

honestly, think of how much bridesmaids have to shell out for the wedding. i think her request to bring a date is reasonable, regardless of your +1 policy

Post # 9
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I gave everyone in our bridal party a “plus one” regardless of their relationship status. I think it’s courteous to allow them to bring someone, considering how much they’ve spent/helped with the wedding.

Post # 10
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

i guess i’m going to be in the minority here, but i’d say that if she is a good enough friend for you to include in your wedding as a bridesmaid, then she should be a good enough friend that you can speak to her honestly about this. call her (no texting–things always get misconstrued over texts) and explain that while you did invite her with a guest, and she is still welcome to bring one, you’d just like her to realize that you are paying for the wedding yourself and each guest adds another hefty per person charge. let her have the final decision, but at least give her all the facts. just my two cents, i only have very close friends as bridesmaids so i just can’t see not being able to talk to any of them about this.

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