- 9 years ago
- Wedding: April 2009
So I got married a month ago, and something has been kinda nagging at me ever since that day. One of my BMs (who is also now my SIL) was pretty adamant about how SHE was the person to ask if anything needed to be done, etc. because this was her only brother’s wedding. Her attitude was upsetting to my Maid/Matron of Honor (who is also my niece & best friend) but we dealt with it – mainly because Maid/Matron of Honor is a saint and just tried to ignore it.
Fast forward to the day of the wedding – I had our photographer come to our condo where all the girls were supposed to be getting ready 2 1/2 hrs before the ceremony so I’d have photos of us getting ready – I love those kinds of shots – so having her there for longer cost me extra money. At the rehearsal, we’d talked (me, Maid/Matron of Honor & both BMs) about getting ready and they’d help her with her makeup and hair if she wanted. Instead of her being at the condo (which she was staying at with us), she went to the Stanley Hotel with my FI’s high school sweetheart – I promise I’ll explain that in a minute – to take the "ghost tour". Once they got there, they were told the tour was full, but they could take the one that started at 11:30 (ceremony started at 1pm & tour takes an hour & a half). She called to see if that was okay, and I told her brother no (there may have been a not-so-nice word or two thrown in). So instead, the two of them decided to just walk around the hotel & grounds and take photos and do their own tour. She didn’t show up until right before we were leaving to go to the venue where all of us were getting dressed. We were there (in my FIL’s suite) for an hour, and it wasn’t until 10 minutes before the ceremony when I asked where the hell my other Bridesmaid or Best Man was that I found out she’d been out socializing with the guests.
She was the first Bridesmaid or Best Man down the aisle (because she was shortest), and she was not wearing any makeup, and she hadn’t done anything with her hair – it looked like she’d washed it the night before and slept on it, walked down the aisle with bedhead.
I feel like at this point, I should say that none of this diminished my wedding day – I honestly didn’t notice til I saw photos afterward how she looked. And as for her not being there, at the time, I was just like "whatever" – very zen attitude for someone who’s usually kinda a control freak.
**The former high school sweetheart is one of FI’s friends – and he doesn’t call a lot of people "friends" so I invited her. I don’t like her – she tries to act like she’s all hardcore like she grew up on the mean streets, when if fact she went to a private high school & lived in a nice part of town. She just goes out of her way to SOUND uneducated, and that annoys me. I tolerate her stupidity because she’s his friend, and I don’t want him to feel trapped in the middle.
The whole point of my post is this :
should I say something to her? Or just consider writing this post (& venting a little) as my therapy and keep the peace? Maybe it’s part my fault for NOT being more controlling??