Bridesmaid went out clubbing night before wedding, ditched me on the day

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

Wow she sounds terrible. I would just let this friendship go. You DEFINITELY shouldn’t be the one reaching out to her

Post # 3
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly, your “friend” is a bitch and what she did was terrible. You are lucky to know now that you don’t need her in your life. I would cut her out of my life since she is not a real friend.. Try to concentrate on the positive. You got married! Congrats! And I’m  sure you had an amazing day and she was just a small part of it. 

Post # 4
Member
562 posts
Busy bee

Let her go. It will be hard, emotionally, initially… But long term you are better off without this person. Remember everyone’s perception is their reality and she has obviously perceived you as doing something poor to her. From what you said it makes no sense, but to her I am sure it does. Why do you feel you need to have a conversation with her? Closure? Or do you really want her to still be your friend? Enjoy being a newlywed and chalk it up to a life experience. 

Post # 5
Member
9386 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

your Maid/Matron of Honor is a terrible friend.  Focus on the girls who were actually there for you–it sounds like all of your other bridesmaids showed up for you.

Post # 6
Member
4293 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

She sounds like a real peach! I would be really hurt too, I’m sorry bee! Now you know what kind of friend she really is, I think I’d let this friendship fall by the wayside. Even if she thinks there are legitimate reasons for her behavior, she was being terribly selfish and inconsiderate the one time you needed her to just be there for you. You deserve friends who are supportive and actually care about your happiness. Let your other maids know how much you appreciate them and forget this sucky friend. 

Post # 7
Member
907 posts
Busy bee

At first I was going to say… well, she doesn’t NEED to stay with you the night before…

… but then the rest of this… oh God. I am sorry. She is not a good friend. She should be reaching out to you. Even though it hurts, it might be time to let this friendship go if she can’t support you ONE day, on your wedding day.

Post # 8
Member
717 posts
Busy bee

Apart from the fact she is perfectly entitled to go out the night before the wedding (could have been the work function was planned before you made the plans to have all the bridesmaids over) she has acted terribly towards you, and she should reach out to you not the other way around!

Post # 9
Member
3083 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
danysnow :  OMG i thought one of my bridesmaids was difficult. But WOW!!! 

I dont think i would talk to her again. What for? If she had apologized maybe you could eventually work it out, but she is mad at you and being snappy at you. Heck no, dude. 

I hope you had a wonderful wedding despite all this. 

Post # 10
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee

Drop her. She’s a selfish person…and I’m getting a hint that there’s possibly substance abuse going on here. 7 hours?! Come ON. It was YOUR wedding day. Yet she thought only about herself. And that wont ever change. Save your sanity and move on.

Post # 11
Member
2612 posts
Sugar bee

Your friend was WILDLY out of order.

My best friend partied a bit too much the night before the wedding with the rest of the wedding party and so she didn’t really party with us the night of the wedding – and that didn’t bother me in the slightest. She’s the one that missed out!

But the fact that your friend added huge amounts of stress and disorder to your experience of the day is incredibly selfish and mean. I probably wouldn’t want to continue the friendship after a stunt like that. 

Post # 12
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

Your friend isn’t a true friend.    At least you know what she really thinks of you.   Plus why would you leave your evening dress at her place.   

I would have taken my things and left after seeing what state she and her co-workers were in.

Post # 13
Member
1640 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
Beth7210 :  Yes she’s entitled to go out the night before, but the #nightoutbeforethewedding is an odd hashtag for a work function or anything else preplanned that the bride wasn’t even invited to.

Post # 14
Member
2369 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: NJ

I agree with PP above, I suspect drug abuse. New friends, extreme breaking of promises, erratic behavior, major change in personality. lying, and playing the victim. 

You shouldn’t reach out to her. If she wants to contact you she will, either still a partyer, or having seen the light. Then it is up to you to decide if you want to reestablish ties. 

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