- 3 years ago
- Wedding: June 2018
I’m going to be honest, I have never posted on here before. I literally need to talk about this because I felt so hurt, and I have no where else to turn.
Just to give a bit of context, my best friend of 10 years, was married 3 years ago. The wedding was a huge success, everyone had a great time and my friend and her husband are still going strong.
Our friendship hasn’t always been 100% and we have had out fair share of arguments, which have usually been due to her insecurities around me having other friends (sounds odd, I know but she does have a few issues around self esteem so I have always been supportive). We have always been really close and have always had each others backs, emotionally, physically socially etc, despite our petty fall outs. Anyway, she got a new job about a year ago and became good friends with some of her new co workers. She began spending more time with them, then with me, which to me is no problem. I understand how friendships fluctuate in adulthood. Anyway, I thought they seemed nice so I invited them to the wedding, to which they accepted.
I asked her to be my Maid of Honour, as role she gladly accepted, I was over the moon! We went wedding dress shopping, she helped me plan my flowers and booked in with the florist (life saver), the only problem I had was getting her and my other bridesmaids to work as a team, as they all had different ideas about what they should do. Either way, she seemed super invested and I was very happy.
Then it came to planning the bachalorette party. I have always been a big lover of music festivals so I asked if we could go to one of them for the party. She point blank refused, despite me offer to pay for her ticket. Bit strange but ok. I told her that I really wanted this, as music is a true passion of mine, but no, becuase she did not like camping or music. I decided to go anyway (was this a bad move?) and I know she held this against me for the duration of the wedding planning.
She became distant, uninterested. I tried to communicate with her, which just pushed her more and more away.
It came to the night before the wedding, and I had asked all my briademaids to stay over at my house so we could have a bit of a ‘slumber party’ and then all be there to get ready in the morning, then we would all go to my maid of honours house to get ready, as it was a lot bigger than mine and coulf accomodate more people that my tiny apartment. She said that she would get champagne and pastries for us all to have in the morning and I was very excited My maid if honour said she couldnt make it, and that she would just see me in the morning when I came to her house with the other bridesmaids.
Then I look on snapchat. She had gone out with her work friends, dozens of snaps of her in a club with #nightoutbeforethewedding, of them yelling and drinking and dancing. I was gutted. How could she go out on the night before my wedding and ditch me? I sat there, sobbing like a loser in a pyjamas eating pizza the night before my wedding, when she was out with her friends at a club CELEBRATING without even inviting me.
The day of the wedding. I called her, no answer. I call and call and call, because I needed to know if her door was unlocked so we could go and get ready. I gave up calling, and we got a cab over. She answered the door, looking a mess, her house was a mess, her work friends were still there and were sleeping in the front room, it stank of booze and cigarettes, there were clothes and trash all over. The entire morning she seemed disinterested, snapping at me when I asked for help. Anyway, I left my evening gown there as she said she would pick up later.
After the ceremony, my maid of honour and her husband said they were going to pop home to feed the dog, get some food (despite there being PLENTY at the wedding breakfast) and get my evening gown. This was at 12 noon.
15 miscalls and SEVEN hours later, she finally asnwers the phone. She had been ASLEEP. I asked her to bring my evening gown, and she said she would get ready and come over with it. An hour later I called again, and asked where she was. She snapped at me and said she was on the way.
She missed the cake cutting, the speeches, the first dance, EVERYTHING.
She arrived at 9pm with her work friends, in different clothes. All of them still looking very hungover…and she had forgotten my gown.
Despite all this, I kept my cool, and just said “…I needed you” to which she replied “No you’re ok, you’re fine” and spent the remainder of the night with her work friends and avoided me. I guess this weird feeling that SHE is the one who feels like the victim here, she certainly acts like it. We haven’t spoken since the wedding, and I don’t even know HOW to begin a conversation.
I’m posting this to find a bit of support and perhaps some shameless agreement that my friend is totally out of order. What would you do now if this happened to you?
Has anything similar happened to any of you??
I feel so lost and alone right now, when this should be the happiest time of my life right??