Bridesmaid went out clubbing night before wedding, ditched me on the day

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
5766 posts
Bee Keeper

That was the most ****ed up inconsiderate disrespectful horrid thing I’ve ever read here [I stay out of these sections because people treating other people badly truly pisses me off].

It is unfortunate and I hope for your sake you’ve cut her off, blocked her, deleted her, everything.  Cut her out of your life like the cancer she is.

 

Post # 32
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee

What. a. bitch! 

Damn right you get that evening gown back! As a PP said no way does she get to try to keep that on top of everything! Seriously what a jerk. By far the worst bm story I’ve read on this site. 

Post # 33
Member
6025 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

 Is she single? Sounds like she tried to sabotage your wedding. She could just be jealous that you’ve found someone and so she acted out like a drunk brat. You’re better off without her. I wouldn’t be heartbroken about losing this ‘friendship’, I’d be LIVID after what she did. 

Post # 35
Member
1069 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

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danysnow :  She is a fucking disaster. I would never EVER speak to her again. No second chances, so that she can just fail on me in every way possible again.

And she never even feigned remorse! Her life must be fucked up because WHO acts like that with that attitude when they get frat-boy wasted the night before a close friend’s wedding and sleep through the whoooole thing . . . holy shit.

Post # 36
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

In wouldn’t even bother initiating a conversation. Drop her like a hot potato and don’t look back.

Post # 37
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

She agreed to be your maid of honour! It’s utterly irresponsible of her to do that on your special day that you spent months planning. I hope she didn’t ruin too much of it!

Post # 38
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

Ditch. This. Bitch.

Fuck her. Delete her number, delete her from all social media. Do not ever speak to her again, unless it’s to communicate in swear words in all the languages you know.

One thing, though. She wasn’t obligated to go to your bachelorette at the music festival. And you weren’t in the wrong to go anyway.

Seriously- ditch her.

*ETA- in your last post you said something about “if she can’t even bother putting my stuff together or replying, she can just walk.”

She just THOROUGHLY fucked you over. You would be an absolute fool to do anything other than consider her behavior frienship ending. If she were to come to you, on her knees, sobbing- you can forgive her but DO NOT give her another chance. You don’t have to be bitter to know that someone is not deserving of your time, energy or friendship.

Also- I’m really curious to know why the dress bag that held your evening gown was empty. I hope she didn’t mess it up while she was drunk and acting a fool.

Post # 39
Member
563 posts
Busy bee

This person is not your friend. End it with her and move on.

Post # 40
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

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danysnow :  I’m sorry things went so awfully and I’m glad that, under the circumstances, your husband is going over there to pick up your things for you. 

Do not feel guilty or wonder what ‘you’ did wrong. Even if she had her nose out of joint because you ‘took the lead’ or because you went to a music festival or whatever, none of this justifies the utter vindictiveness of her behaviour. If you had done something to make her mad or hurt her feelings, a real friend would have come to you and told you what was bothering them. And a sane friend would have stepped down as your Maid/Matron of Honor if she was too offended or hurt to want to stand up with you, not remain your Maid/Matron of Honor and seemingly do everything possible to wreak havoc. 

I’m struggling to decide whether she sounds more deliberate-wedding-wrecking-bitch or girl-who’s-gotten-in-with-the-wrong-crowd-and-has-derailed-her-own-life. Either way, you are clearly the victim in all of this….but her behaviour is troubling to say the least. There’s no way that hashtag wasn’t a calculated dig at you though, whether this girl is messed up or just simply awful. 

I wonder where her husband is in all of this? She’s responsible for her own behaviour of course, but it’s his home too- so her co-workers crashed all over the living room and the house dirty and stinking of cigarettes?! when he knows she’s supposed to be your Maid/Matron of Honor and would have known the wedding party was spending the morning there…..is he alarmed by her behaviour? indifferent to it? partying along with her? I simply can’t imagine either my husband or myself not stepping in and asking the other one what the hell they were doing in this scenario? 

Post # 41
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee

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RobbieAndJuliahaha :  agreed. That’s why I’m suspecting substance abuse. Even if things were on shaky ground with the friendship, I would still keep my shit together for the day so as not to make an ass of myself at the very least. 

Post # 42
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Her behavior was atrocious and friendship ending. So much is wrong with what she did that I don’t even know where to begin. As much as it hurts, you need to be done.

There is nothing she could do or say that would make up for her behavior and quite frankly she doesn’t seem interested in apologizing. Her behavior after the fact is also telling about how she feels. She truly doesn’t give a fuck about you. How sad.

But please don’t let that be the overriding memory that sticks out at your wedding. Try to focus on the love you felt from the rest of the people around you who were good to you and the fact that you married a great guy. Fuck that bitch. 

Post # 43
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee

Exactly Cheeky0077!

Fix thte good parts of your wedding day in your memories and do your best to wash out this person’s actions. Don’t give them any precidence.

Remember the joy you felt when you said ” I do” and how delighted your family was to see you so happy to marry the man you love. His joy in becoming your spouse. All the friends and people who were so thilled to be there to see it. They are the ones who deserve your head space, not her.

Post # 44
Member
11370 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

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danysnow :  wow. What a horrible person. I agree with PP that it sounds like she has some major issues (substance abuse among them or exacerbating them), but I also agree that this is not your problem and it doesn’t excuse her actions.

f her. Don’t message her anymore. Just have your husband deal with her to get your things and be done for now. 

Remember, you didn’t marry her, she is not the most important person in your life, so don’t let her ruin this time! You will make new and better friends who actually support you. 

 

Post # 45
Member
440 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
danysnow :  we wouldn’t be friends EVER again. She wouldn’t be getting my gown, or my new makeup or even an EXPLANATION on why I’m done. I am curious to see if she actually will be cooperative with giving hubby all your things. If she is, there would be no need for further contact PERIOD. Like what got me is that you were uncomfortable all night long cause you were in a huge dress and she left your fucking gown like WTF!??!!!! So the bride was uncomfortable all day? So even if she didn’t want to think about this dumb bitch she subconsciously does ever time she wants to comfortably breathe….which is ALL night……. like omg and she ghosts you!?! OMG! So whether you got to go yourself if your husband is not able to get them for you, I would go and get my stuff and not say a word. Why? Because you don’t OWE HER an explanation and she is not even worth the shit on your shoes for you to ever WASTE YOUR BREATH on such LOW.

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