Bridesmaid went out clubbing night before wedding, ditched me on the day

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 47
Member
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

I’m sorry it came to this but it sounds like she’s not a good friend and the update does her no favors!!  Glad you got most of your stuff back.

Post # 48
Member
697 posts
Busy bee

I’m so sorry this happened, glad to read in your update that you’re cutting your losses. I’m even more sorry for her husband.

Post # 49
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

Your friend is a piece of work. I’m glad you were able to get most of your things back and you can leave that piece of crap behind. Hopefully she doesn’t try to come between her and your husband’s friendship.

Post # 50
Member
5244 posts
Bee Keeper

Throw out all the makeup; you don’t need her cooties in your life. Get the dress cleaned and wear it to a fancy occasion in the future. I really want to know where her hapless husband was in all this. I wouldn’t have anything to do with either of them in the future.

Post # 51
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Clearly, she was not thinking of you. I think it’s quite rude to go out with others when you know you have a wedding to be a part of. Wow bee, I am so sorry this happened! I would say that she is not invested in your friendship and you probably need to let your friendship with her run its course. It sucks, but you should not be hurt like this by a dear friend. 

Post # 52
Member
812 posts
Busy bee

Clearly this was horrible behaviour and I 100% agree with all other PP’s. I reread the OP and am wondering what happened around the time of the music festival bachelorette. You said she didn’t want anything to do with it and you went anyway. Did she end up going? Was that your bachelorette and did the other girls go too?  Just curious about what was happening around that time as you seem to think that’s when her attitude changed.

Also – ditch that bitch!

Post # 53
Member
7272 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

View original reply
danysnow :  I’m glad she wasn’t able to ruin your day and that you didn’t have to see her again to get your belongings back.

Hopefully she gets herself together one day soon before she completely fucks up her whole life.

Post # 55
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

Ugh, Bee I’m sorry she was such a nightmare. It sounds like she’s either having an identity crisis, or getting into drugs. Cocaine, mdma, or pcp if I had to guess…

For the love of makeup(!), chiming in to say you don’t have to throw anything out. Swipe rubbing alcohol across the creams, lipsticks, containers, and dabbing it on powders with a tissue will do the trick. 

I hope you have the chance to wear your evening gown soon!

Post # 56
Member
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
sunburn :  Hapless husband indeed. He seems oddly disengaged from all of this. 

View original reply
danysnow :  Even if she was mad or hurt about the music festival, it doesn’t explain her bizarre and totally unacceptable behaviour. It’s like she wanted to end your friendship with a ‘bang’ (unfortunately by being as crass as possible re your wedding) and it sounds like her new friends are the type to egg her on and laugh about it. 

p.s. one of the signs of addiction is seeking out ‘lower’ company to indulge in your addictions with. (this is not a snobby term, ‘lower’ has nothing at all to do with socioeconomic class here, more in terms of what these type of friends consider acceptable, funny etc)

I think she clearly needs help- but it’s her rather apathetic husband who should be far more worried than he is. She’s treated you so horribly that your own focus should be on protecting yourself from her b.s. 

Post # 57
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee

What a weird reaction for her husband to have. He doesnt sound with it either. I’d drop them both. 

Post # 58
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

She is not your friend. Anymore. 

Post # 59
Member
10423 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
lifeisbeeutiful :  

Is she single? Sounds like she tried to sabotage your wedding. She could just be jealous that you’ve found someone and so she acted out like a drunk brat”

OP said quite clearly she has  been married three years and went on to give details of her own involvement  in the wedding. Anyway jumping  to  explanations that women are jealous  because other women are married , is , you know, silly and 1950’s ish  imo. 

Post # 60
Member
6025 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

View original reply
elderbee :  I didn’t read that part but other women bring jealous over another’s relationship isn’t always ‘1950s’ thinking. It’s common. A friend marrying can often derail a friendship because now the married couple spends more time together, leaving less time for friendships, friendship can suffer because of feelings of inadequacy where one’s life is progressing into marriage and family and the others is stagnant, unsatisfactory, in a bad relationship, etc. Dynamics change. Hope you understand.

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors