Post # 46
Update: My husband went to her house this morning to get my things, she answered the door and when he said he was there to get my things she said “oh, I’m not sure where everything is but you can look around”, then he had to spend 20 minutes looking around her house for all my things. Apprently the gown was stuffed into a publix bag like it was nothing, and he said the make up was all out on the table as if she had been using it.
I don’t know who this person is anymore, its like she is a whole different person, she doesn’t give a damn. APparently she didn’t ask about me or how I was, just ignored him the whole time he was there.
Her husband and my husband are really good friends, he is a great guy and he has talked to me before about her changes, in his words “she has changed so much in the past year, I just don’t know whats going on”. I know her new freinds are quite girly girl and use snapchat a lot and go on a lot of nights out and are mean to each other for fun, which I don’t understand tbh. They call each other bitch as a term of endearment!
I’m cutting my losses. He couldn’t find my mac primer..which I’m pretty sure I won’t get back, but whatever, if she wants it, she can have it. I’m done.
Thankyou all for your support, you have all been wonderful and have really he,lped me get some persepective and self respect. My Husband said a while a go that she seemed different. I should have cut my losses months ago and asked her to step down, I have been so naive…but not anymore.
Post # 47
I’m sorry it came to this but it sounds like she’s not a good friend and the update does her no favors!! Glad you got most of your stuff back.
Post # 48
I’m so sorry this happened, glad to read in your update that you’re cutting your losses. I’m even more sorry for her husband.
Post # 49
Your friend is a piece of work. I’m glad you were able to get most of your things back and you can leave that piece of crap behind. Hopefully she doesn’t try to come between her and your husband’s friendship.
Post # 50
Throw out all the makeup; you don’t need her cooties in your life. Get the dress cleaned and wear it to a fancy occasion in the future. I really want to know where her hapless husband was in all this. I wouldn’t have anything to do with either of them in the future.
Post # 51
Clearly, she was not thinking of you. I think it’s quite rude to go out with others when you know you have a wedding to be a part of. Wow bee, I am so sorry this happened! I would say that she is not invested in your friendship and you probably need to let your friendship with her run its course. It sucks, but you should not be hurt like this by a dear friend.
Post # 52
Clearly this was horrible behaviour and I 100% agree with all other PP’s. I reread the OP and am wondering what happened around the time of the music festival bachelorette. You said she didn’t want anything to do with it and you went anyway. Did she end up going? Was that your bachelorette and did the other girls go too? Just curious about what was happening around that time as you seem to think that’s when her attitude changed.
Also – ditch that bitch!
Post # 53
I’m glad she wasn’t able to ruin your day and that you didn’t have to see her again to get your belongings back.
Hopefully she gets herself together one day soon before she completely fucks up her whole life.
Post # 54
SHe didn’t come to the festival with us. I asked her 2 months in advance and she said she didn’t like them and wasn’t going. Next time I spoke to her she said it’s becuase she didn’t have enough money..so I offered to pay for the ticket, to which she replied she wouldn’t feel comfortable with that, even as a loan (this is quite unusual, as we have always borrowed money from each other before). So she kept changing her reasons why, and just would not hear any of it when I tried to discuss it with her.
Looking back now, I think she was mad because I took control of the bachelorette and it wasn’t up her alley, she is more the type of person to arrange cocktails in a fancy bar which I would hate. I have been questioning this decision the entire time since, as I know she missed out….but should I sacrifice what I want because my friend isn’t happy with my choice and was given plenty of time and opportunity to come.
Part of me now thinks she was jealous because the other bridesmaids were involved…she has always been a bit of a jealous friend.
Post # 55
Ugh, Bee I’m sorry she was such a nightmare. It sounds like she’s either having an identity crisis, or getting into drugs. Cocaine, mdma, or pcp if I had to guess…
For the love of makeup(!), chiming in to say you don’t have to throw anything out. Swipe rubbing alcohol across the creams, lipsticks, containers, and dabbing it on powders with a tissue will do the trick.
I hope you have the chance to wear your evening gown soon!
Post # 56
Hapless husband indeed. He seems oddly disengaged from all of this.
Even if she was mad or hurt about the music festival, it doesn’t explain her bizarre and totally unacceptable behaviour. It’s like she wanted to end your friendship with a ‘bang’ (unfortunately by being as crass as possible re your wedding) and it sounds like her new friends are the type to egg her on and laugh about it.
p.s. one of the signs of addiction is seeking out ‘lower’ company to indulge in your addictions with. (this is not a snobby term, ‘lower’ has nothing at all to do with socioeconomic class here, more in terms of what these type of friends consider acceptable, funny etc)
I think she clearly needs help- but it’s her rather apathetic husband who should be far more worried than he is. She’s treated you so horribly that your own focus should be on protecting yourself from her b.s.
Post # 57
What a weird reaction for her husband to have. He doesnt sound with it either. I’d drop them both.
Post # 58
She is not your friend. Anymore.
Post # 59
Is she single? Sounds like she tried to sabotage your wedding. She could just be jealous that you’ve found someone and so she acted out like a drunk brat”
OP said quite clearly she has been married three years and went on to give details of her own involvement in the wedding. Anyway jumping to explanations that women are jealous because other women are married , is , you know, silly and 1950’s ish imo.
Post # 60
I didn’t read that part but other women bring jealous over another’s relationship isn’t always ‘1950s’ thinking. It’s common. A friend marrying can often derail a friendship because now the married couple spends more time together, leaving less time for friendships, friendship can suffer because of feelings of inadequacy where one’s life is progressing into marriage and family and the others is stagnant, unsatisfactory, in a bad relationship, etc. Dynamics change. Hope you understand.