Bridesmaid went out clubbing night before wedding, ditched me on the day

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 61
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

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danysnow :  OP, I’m so sorry you went through this. Especially as someone who has also just lost a friend from that friend’s shitty behavior, I understand what your feeling. Losing a friendship has it’s own grieving process, just like losing a relationship. It’s frustrating to never get answers, but take solace in that you will be living such a better life without her jealousy and drama! 

Also don’t feel guilty for taking over your bachelorette. I would have too! When she got married, she got to choose. For your wedding, you get to choose because it’s about YOU, not her. Something she may have struggled with. Your decision of a music festival or having other bridesmaids involved is nothing to blame yourself over. She’s the one who wouldn’t act like a grown woman and play nice for a couple of days. She is the sole one to blame here.

Wishing you the best!

Post # 62
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

She is lucky you are as nice as you are because I probably would’ve attacked her if she walked in without my evening gown!! LOL. Everything you just said is a nightmare! OMG! I am so sorry she did that to you! I would never talk to her again. She didn’t FORGET your evening gown if you were calling her for that long! I hate to say this, but she had to have done that on purpose. Such a rotten thing to do to someone on their wedding day. So sorry about all of that. That is awful. =( On a happier note, congratulations and I hope everything else turned out how you wanted. =)

Post # 63
1497 posts
Bumble bee

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danysnow :  I know this was a month ago but thought id add some perspecive that might be helpful. 

You would have regretted it if you didn’t include her in your wedding party. It would have always been a what if scenario. Think of it this way, she was at your wedding. You got to have her there, now you won’t have to look back and wonder if your friendship soured bc you didn’t include her etc. 

I am sorry she was such a bad friend to you. Who knows, maybe in the future she will reach out and explain what happened, and if you ever do reconcile at least she was at your wedding. Sounds like her recent changes are also a concern of her husband, i wouldn’t be suprised if a divorce is on the horizon with behavior like that. Sorry you had to deal with that. 

Post # 64
5178 posts
Bee Keeper

This is why I’m glad I don’t have any friends who drink to excess. Doubtless she will say the alcohol made her do it, but alcohol never made anyone so self-absorbed (#nightoutbeforethewedding minus bride), which is what it really boils down to. It was all about her, even your wedding. 

Plus I’ll bet she smells bad too.

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