(Closed) Bridesmaid who is unresponsive? – Very long SRY

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like she might have liked the idea of being a bridesmaid more than actually being one. Are you able to call her? I think you need to talk to her seriously about what’s going on – bridesmaids shouldn’t be difficult, and you haven’t made any strange or inappropriate demands, so whatever the problem is, it’s with her, not you. If you don’t talk to her about this, it will drag on and you definitely don’t want that!

Post # 4
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Yeah, unfortunately there seem to be a lot of people who gush at the idea of being a maid but don’t want the work that goes with it.

I would be calling her about this and going from there. And is she really that ‘fat’ or is she being one of those annoying ‘I’m sooooo fat!’ people, lol?

Post # 6
Member
380 posts
Helper bee

@truefrommetoyou:  I would be polite but honest. Being a bridesmaid comes with some responsibilities and you need to know that you can rely on her. Maybe bring up the dress situation and be honest – say you’ve got a lot to figure out with your wedding and you would be happier knowing the dress situation is sorted. You don’t have to sound accusing (but she may get defensive) – just keep calm and stick to the point.

Post # 7
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a bridesmaid like that and she ended up not showing up to my wedding.  She didn’t call or contact me in any way whatsoever beforehand or after.  Fun.  I suggest you have a serious conversation with her about whether she really wants to be your bridesmaid. 

Post # 8
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@peasantsong:  eek! i can’t even believe that 🙁

ya, i definitely agree that you need to call her and have a serious talk about everything! good luck! 

Post # 9
Member
796 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@peasantsong:  Yikes! Oh my goodness! I’m sure you handled it with grace and elegance and I hope that your wedding was amazing, despite someone else. 

 

@truefrommetoyou:  I’m definitely in the same boat as you are! My problematic maid, though, is Future Sister-In-Law (groan). I thought I had solved the Bridesmaid or Best Man dilemma (cause they’re all over the country) by finding this incredible seamstress to custom make the dresses from an inspiration photo that the BMs could choose! It would all be the same fabric and everything. Future Sister-In-Law has not responded to my request (in 3 weeks) but has told Fiance that she doesn’t approve of this plan and she’s not sure that the seamstress I’ve found is good enough. Boo headaches.

Best of luck figuring out the whole situation. Keep us posted!

Post # 10
Member
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Its very nice of everyone to be accomodating but its creating more trouble for you than its worth. I would go back on what you said about the long dresses by sending an email or posting on the facebook page.

If Bridesmaid or Best Man X can’t handle a shorter dress and doesn’t order one then you’ll have your answer on her being a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Honestly I wouldn’t have a conversation with her. Its about what you want not her. The bride usually picks out the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, shes getting off easy if you’re letting them pick the style.

Post # 11
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@colli459:  haha… yikes indeed!  It really wasn’t a big deal at all, to be honest.  She didn’t have any day of responsibilities mostly because she didn’t respond to any of my calls or emails so it relaly was just a loss of money for her seat and a slightly off processional.  However,  in hindsight, I realize that I should have called her and given her an easy out.  She very clearly didn’t want to do it but felt bad telling me.  Maybe if I had called her, I could have at least salvaged our friendship. 

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