Post # 17
I would definitely politely put her out of the wedding party…and maybe even as a guest. No matter how much she cries, or threatens to start trouble for you at work…your wedding is not a situation where you should just “grin and bear it”. No short-term, almost friend is worth that kind of trouble.
Post # 18
I agree with eveyone else that the sooner Miss Drama is out of the wedding party, the better.
As to what you should say, I would suggest (counterintuitive as this may seem) that you make everything about her – but in the nicest possible way. It may be bending the truth a bit, but hopefully it will keep her from flying too far off the handle.
Something like, “I’m so happy that you want to help and be involved, but it seems like this process is really stressful for you and not much fun. It’s important to me that you enjoy yourself at the wedding and not feel overburdened and taxed. It would be great if you could help with [X, Y and Z – specific tasks], but please don’t feel as though you have to make yourself miserable on my account.”
The key is to be as particular as possible when outlining X, Y and Z so that you don’t have to include her in everything.
If she’s really just a nasty person, odds are she’ll quit in a huff over some minor, perceived slight and then the problem will be solved for you.
Post # 19
Wow, this woman wasn’t even supposed to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, and now she is and is acting like a nightmare and taking over the wedding on top of it all? Girl, this sounds like something straight out of a movie!! Makes it so much harder that she’s a co-worker, and you’ll have to see and work with her no matter what you decide to do. Yikes. She’s really gotta go though. I hate confrontation too, so I know it’s so much easier for us to tell you than for you to do though. boooooooo on this whole situation!
Post # 20
… yikes! Have a sit down with her and tell her that while you appreciate her trying to help, enough is enough and you don’t require her “help” any longer. She’ll probably cry and sob and beg you to let her be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she’ll probably even make concessions and plea bargain, but at this point you’re just going to have to stonewall and simply tell her that you no longer think it’s a good idea for her to be involved with the wedding- this includes being a guest because she sounds like she would start something as a scorned bridesmaid from h***. There is absolutely no excuse for a grown woman to act this way!
Post # 21
tell her “I’m sorry you don’t have the money for a dress right now. Instead of being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, would you just be my attendant?” then she can still be a part of the wedding, but won’t be standing up with you.. and she can take care of all the little extra stuff you need done on your big day.
Post # 22
@OP: Hey, what ended up happening between you and Drama Queen?
Post # 23
The most important thing is your comfort. You have to remember, especially with the bridal party, that they have to respect your feelings on everything. They shouldn’t be causing drama, they shouldn’t be acting like a bridesmaidzilla. They should be encouraging you, supporting you. If they wanted a certain style, and as long as they kept the color that you chose, I can see that. It is a popular trend right now. But for her to just straight up tell you that she is ordering this dress in a color SHE wants, that is a load of BS. You need to sit down and have a talk with her, and if that doesn’t work, then don’t have her stand up with you. You have other friends, more deserving friends, to stand up with you on your amazing day.
Post # 24
She is not family, she is not even really a friend. Put your priorities first and say it point and blank to her that you don’t want her as a part of your wedding, or even attending your wedding. If you don’t do this than she will make your entire wedding memory seem like a nightmare.
What’s more important, this girl or your wedding?