(Closed) Bridesmaid with a situation.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4142 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I imagine it is because you’re underage and for no other reason.  However, it is a shame the bride decided not to speak to you about it.  I understand why you’re upset, but I doubt that was the intention, she probably just didn’t know what to say because you’re underage. If she wants to go bar-hopping on her night then that’s her choice really.

As for the shower, I’m not really “with” US tradition but it seems off to ask you to contribute to something you can’t even attend (especially the appetizer, how are you supposed to get that there?) I’m sure other bees can give more insight.

Sorry you’re in this sucky position.

Post # 4
Member
9648 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

you certainly shouldn’t have to pay for a shower you can’t go to, i think the reason you were left out of the bachelorette party was because you are underage, not for any mean reason. “planning around my age”, it is her bachelorette party, she should NOT have to miss out on having her dream party because of your age. if she wants to go bar hopping that is her decision, she shouldn’t have to miss out on that because you aren’t able to go. if you couldn’t go to the wedding for some reason would you expect her to change her plans for you too? sorry just this sort of thing gets me riled up

Post # 5
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The Bridal shower is that what you have to bring the ap for? Well you can still go to the bridal shower with out going to the bachelorette party!

I do think it was rude for no one to tell you about it BUT my little sister will be just 4 months shy of 21 for my bachelorette and I am not changing what I want to do just because she cant go… 

She only gets one bachelorette party and I don’t think it is fair that you want her to change what she wants because you are too young to be a part of it… I think you need to take a step back and realize this is her “Last night of freedom” and she should be allowed to do what she wants!

Post # 7
Member
1735 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You suggested she work around your age in your first post. 

but I thought maybe she would consider planning around my age rather than setting her mind on going bar-hopping, completely leaving me out, and doing all the plans that bridesmaids are supposed to do together behind my back.

Which is a tad bit unreasonable.  I completley understand feeling left out it not always fun.  I am sure the only reason you are being left behind is your age.  Maybe no one wanted to mention it to you in fear that your feelings would be hurt. 

Where do you live that you can bar hop before being legally able to drink? 

Post # 9
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I see that you edited your post but you wrote this quoted exactly from your post (but you edited it out 

“but I thought maybe she would consider planning around my age rather than setting her mind on going bar-hopping”


The way you made it sound was that you cant go at all because of your age? Do the clubs you can get in even serve alochol? The places around here that a 19 year old can get in are full of teenagers and do not serve alochol… If that is the case I understand why she wouldnt want to go to those places…

Post # 11
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Yeah I think the bride is being rude and inconsiderate but maybe she thinks she is going to do something she will regret/not want her Fiance to find out about and hence you are not invited! Are there any other memebrs of the grooms side invited?

I would talk to the bride- just because she is a bride and planning a wedding doesn’t give her the right to be rude.

Post # 12
Member
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@tiger47:  That is all they do? Really? Anyone I know would just cut off the bracelet once they were inside…

Post # 14
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@tiger47:  Is your mum going to the bachelorette party?

Post # 15
Member
5762 posts
Bee Keeper

There’s no reason you should be excluded from any of it, as at least they could include you in the batchelorette before they go out bar hopping anyway. Aren’t they planning on eating anything first? You could at least attend that part and then make your exit.

 As far as the shower goes, why on earth are they expecting you to chip in, provide an appetizer and not even attend it? Can you check with whoever is actually hosting it and find out? How soon are all these things?

Why did she ask you to be in the bridal party anyway? Do you two have any kind of a relationship at all?

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