Post # 61
weddinggirl2009 : I can’t get past the part where you say that peopke come up to her and grab her hair. That’s so f*cling offensive, what makes them think it’s okay for them to touch her. I understand how it may startle her to the point of non-reaction but if you are out with her and a stranger touches her hair again, please, smack thier hand away and demand to know what they think they are doing.
Post # 62
I think just about the most you can do would be to say “hey I’m going in for a trim to get off dead ends before the wedding and chat about hairdos. Would you wanna come with? My hairstylist is great and I can get an appointment for both of us if you want!” and then if she says no, you drop it.
Post # 63
nykkee : yeah I don’t agree with strangers touching her hair it happens all the time though it’s not like I can always stop it comes out of nowhere half the time It is shockingly long so I think some people think she wants the attention but I don’t necessarily think she always does I think it’s more of an insecurity than a wish for long hair or attention
Post # 64
MrsCoffeeSnob : i have 5 sisters. Honestly it’s an issue because it’s not a little long it’s like extreme like legit down to ankles. It is to the point that people even her Mom discuss it. She hasn’t cut it in years. I have only said something once when she brought it up a year ago and asked how often people cut their hair. I said every six weeks or usually once a season. I am not pissed. I am nervous and worried.Ive decided not to say anything to her but I know I will pay the price. There will be a situation about it on the wedding day. I can feel it. I am going to warn the salon about it being 3 times longer than an average person. I think that’s been the best suggestion. I feel like if some of you saw the hair you’d get the dilemma. It’s not that I just don’t like her hair. I know hairdressers are going to be like OMG and there will be a scene. I bet she’ll take up at least two hair appointments but that is fine with me. I am just worried in general because her Mom and other bridesmaids have brought it up discretely. I am discussing my worries and anxiety on here because it’s sorta annoymous.
Post # 65
weddinggirl2009 : Do you really think you sharing your opinions about her hair is going to improve her self-esteem?
Her hair, her business. It’s no different from telling someone they would be healthier if they lost weight. There is no way you can phrase this or explain it that will make asking her to cut her hair okay, because it isn’t. The most you can do is make sure there is a hairdresser available to help her put it up into a style she likes AND PAY FOR IT. If the salon knows someone with ankle-length hair coming in they won’t be shocked and there won’t be a scene. You can even ask them not to make a big deal out of it if you think it would make your Future Sister-In-Law ucomfortable. Don’t create unnecessary drama.
Post # 66
Why are you still arguing, you’ve got all the answers here.
Yes it is rude to call your SIL homeless and ask her to cut her hair.
No the hairdresser won’t mind
Yes you sound incredibly selfish
Post # 67
Does she know about donating hair for Locks of Love? Kill two birds with one stone. How is all that hair not a burden? Full disclosure – yeah i get a buzz cut, so definitely prejudiced!
Post # 68
Long hair that is washed several times a week is in no way unhygienic! Even if the ends are bit straggly!!
6inches off her hair may not be noticible to you but I guarantee it will be to her. To even call it a trim is down right offensive.
Im sorry bee but your concerns come across as having everything to do with your wedding and nothing to do with your SIL.
This whole ‘situation’ as you call it has the easiest solution in the world. “Hey hairdresser one of my bridesmaids has knee length hair how do you think is best to style it? Would you like me to bring her in for a trial?”
Depending on her answer … Then “hey sil I was doing a run through with my hairdresser and she would like to do a trial of your your hair before the wedding. How do you feel about this?” She will either love a trial and can come in, the hair dresser can have a play and be sure to allocate enough time on the day of and guess what NO DRAMA. Or SIL may say that she doesn’t feel comfortable having someone touch her hair and that she would like to do it herself and guess what? She does her own hair the morning of the wedding and guess what? Again NO DRAMA.
Honestly bee 🐝 if this is your big stressed you have it pretty good! Now repeat after me –
“MY SIL IS A PERSON! I love her dearly and want her to share in my special day. SHE IS NOT A PHOTO PROP!! I will remember this and not treat her like one. Noone, I repeat NOONE, cares what her hair looks like at my wedding”
Post # 69
I feel like this is one of those things thats only a problem if you make it a problem. She will deal with her hair the same way she deals with it every other day of her life, I don’t get it, what’s the problem?
Yes, ankle length hair is certainly unusual, but what does it have to do with your wedding?
Post # 70
If she had an eating disorder, is it possible that keeping her hair long is a way for her to take control of her life and body in an alternative, healthy manner? Regardless, I don’t think it’s okay for you to ask her to cut it, no matter what you think is “healthy.” Incidentally, the concern about tripping isn’t really valid if she always wears it up.
Also, 6 inches of hair is exactly how much hair you grow in a year. So cutting off that much might seem like a trim to you in terms of how much hair is left, but it’s a big commitment. Her hair would not get back to its usual length for an entire YEAR.
Post # 71
tiffanybruiser : You should certainly ask her to wear opague stockings, unless the dress is long. Hairy legs, and long hair in armpits, like it or not, are a needless distraction. If you are wearing a bridal gown, and not some very non-traditional costume, then you’re already x-ing out hairy legs.
Post # 72
weddinggirl2009 : Hair that long is aberrant. She can’t get enough therapy in time for it to work before your wedding, so I’d say that either she cuts it or she doesn’t come to the wedding. What does she say when you guys tell her she has to cut her hair at least to her rear. Get her to donate her hair for cancer patient wigs. Aberrant.
Post # 73
testyone : Are you for real right now? Do you only speak to people who fit your concept of normativity?
Clap, clap you know what aberrant means. You dont have to repeat it twice.
Post # 74
Innerdonught : I don’t lol… *runs off to dictionary.com*
Post # 75
MeandYou : She’s saying that having hair of that length is against society’s norm or of an ‘accepted standard’ so it’s obviously wrong (?) and she needs therapy or to give her hair up for wigs(???).
Oh and if you don’t want to shave your legs you’re a distraction during a wedding. . .