Bridesmaid with extremely long hair

posted 2 years ago in Beauty
Post # 76
Member
610 posts
Busy bee

Ahhhh….that means my hair is aberrant too as it’s marshmallow pink. What a lovely new word for me!

Anyway…genuinely laughed whilst reading OP and figured she was on crack.

No, you can’t tell her to cut her hair. 

You have to put up and shut up.

Post # 77
Member
2333 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

MeandYou :  I had pink hair for a few months and loooooved it.

Guess what? Sometimes in Winter I get lazy and don’t shave my legs for aaaages.

Obviously we are aberrant and not fit to be bridesmaids 🤣

Post # 78
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee

“I know I will pay the price for it”. Are you serious?! SMH.

Post # 79
Member
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

weddinggirl2009 :  Wow, I don’t know why everyone is piling on you and acting like such jerks. I guess the Bees are just psychotically sensitive about certain subjects and you’ve accidentally tripped a wire in the Hivemind so the attack has begun. This thread reminds me of the demon aliens in Galaxy Quest! 

Anyway anout your SIL: the hair issue you’re describing sounds like it’s tied to a mental disorder, especially with her lack of personal care in other regards like the infected mole, etc. I think the most you can do is continue encouraging her to go to therapy (and make sure the therapist she’s seeing is properly qualified, ideally able to prescribe medications or at least one who works with doctors to prescribe).

Yes you can use the wedding as an excuse to approach her about getting a trim, just do it causally as in “I’m going for a trim 6 weeks before the wedding to make sure my hair looks its best and healthiest, would you like to come with me? I think you’d feel great if we get spruced up together…” However I doubt you’ll have much success. And even if she agrees it’s likely a trim won’t do any lasting good, because it won’t address the underlying mental issues which are causing her to neglect her body. 

Your sister in law is lucky to have a caring person like you in her life. Just remember that there’s only so much you can do to help a mentally ill person, you may need to maintain a certain distance to protect yourself. Good luck and I wish you and this poor girl all the best.

Post # 80
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

valintine :  so a person with long hair is mentally ill??

 

Post # 81
Member
3290 posts
Sugar bee

My Maid/Matron of Honor has hair that actually touches the floor when it’s not plaited. She had her hair braided and then looped and doubled up so it was half it’s normal length. It looked good and she just helped the hairdresser by detangling it and holding it in sections. It wasn’t a problem at all, I just warned the hairdresser beforehand that we had one bridal party member with insanely long hair!

ETA: My Maid/Matron of Honor has not trimmed her hair in years and years. And it has nothing to do with not taking care of herself, she just simply doesn’t want to trim it. None of my damn business… Her hair didn’t take ANYTHING away from our wedding day. The hairdressers were amazed with her hair and were taking photos working on her hair because it was out of the ordinary.

Post # 83
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - City, State

If she had such grotty hair, why would strangers go up and grab her ponytail?

Anyway, why not treat her to a hair spa instead? Stronger/healthier hair is easier to work with. And maybe book one for yourself and make it a bonding time? Long hair is high maintenance, so she would not be as offended by that. I imagine it is way less traumatic than snipping off 6 inches of hair! 

Post # 84
Member
12096 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

OK, so you aren’t upset, you are anxious and nervous that something will go “wrong.” Repeat after me. This is not your business or your problem. She gets to DIY, go to the hairdresser of HER choice, or yours if you  have made the offer. If your main issue is with the timing, then that is easily handled by giving the salon a heads up or expecting her to handle it herself. 

At least admit and own up to the fact that the real issue here is that you are embarrassed by her. Let’s take your word for it for a moment that something will go “wrong”, and she shows up the way she looks every day. Will guests see it as a reflection of you? To the contrary, they might actually admire you for not being superficial enough to exclude or control someone because of their appearance. 

Or is it about the attention you think it will take away from you?  Really, what is the worst thing you see happening here? 

Once you’ve come to terms with that question, I think you will be able to see this differently. 

Post # 85
Member
457 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Um…. no I don’t think you can ask her to cut her hair… 

 

bit genuine suggestion, I haven’t read all the responses so idk of this has been thrown out there yet but, If you can’t find a hair dresser that will work with her hair length, and you live somewhere with an Apostalic/United Pentacostal community, you might could approach a lady from one of those types of churches about fixing it for her? I know many Apostalic/UPC ladies who have hair between their butts and feet, and they’re all pros at doing updos and and other things with it. If you don’t know anyone personally from these churches, maybe one of your friends/family might. 

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