Post # 1
I’m hoping to get some feedback from everyone! Here’s the deal. I have a bridesmaid that is obviously a good friend. Since I am not shallow, I don’t select my friends based on their looks or personal style. This particular friend/bridesmaid does her makeup VERY poorly. We are talking thick black eyeliner around the entire eye, yellowed foundation, fake lashes, and painted brows. The makeup is always way too heavy and cakey. Normally I wouldn’t care, but now I’m realizing that as part of my wedding party, her and her poor makeup will be in my pictures. I feel a bit bad saying that, but it truly is distracting (I’d post pics but obviously can’t, so just trust me).
I’ve thought about every way possible to approach this. Talk to her? That risks seriously offending her and ruining a friendship over eyeliner. Get pro makeup done? Possibly, but I have 11 maids and that is going to get pricey very quickly. Mandate certain makeup and color palettes? Well, I’d have to provide the makeup and then I guarantee she’d still cake it on like crazy. Not sure what’s best.
Also, I would like to mention that I’ve tried subtle things, such as telling everyone I’m going for the “light, natural, glowing look” but her response was “oh you can’t do that. Wedding makeup has to be heavier than normal so that it will show up in pictures.” My sis/MOH offered to do her makeup for her, but she insisted “I’m the only one that knows how to do my own makeup the way I like it.”
Post # 3
Maybe you could do some pictures beforehand with your girls and show them to her and *maybe* she’ll realize her makeup doesn’t look so great?
Post # 4
Just tell her that her daily makeup style is too heavy for a wedding and ask her to scale it back. 🙂
Post # 5
As you are haveing 11 maids chances are no one will notice her.
Post # 6
@Gingersnap: I agree.
You tried to tell her you want light makeup and she should respect that! 11 bridesmaids is a lot otherwise I would have suggested you bring in a makeup artist for your wedding day.
Post # 7
You could as a guise make an apt with her and you to a make up counter just to try on make up and have them give here a make over and then gush how nice it looks?
Post # 8
How are you having your make up done that day? If you’re going to the salon, ask her to join you and spring for her appointment also, and tell her you wanted to have a special day with just the two of you. Tell her why you appreciate her as a friend, and all the ways she is important to you, and tell her you’d like to do something nice for her.
Not offensive, and she will love you for the added attention to your friendship.
Post # 9
Why don’t you ask her to go to one of the department stores near you where you can book makeovers for free at the makeup counter?
A fun day for the two of you with lunch after? Maybe she will learn something
Take pics and notes so you (and she) can duplicate what you learned.
Post # 10
I agree with the do a girls day out with her or something and go get make overs done at a makeup counter, and tell her how nice she looks with her make over, and then go out for something to eat, and chill with her after. Maybe she will get the hint. Good Luck! 🙂
Post # 11
I like the idea of doing an outing to a department store makeup counter. This is probably a weak strategy, but you could always employ some flattery, saying that you’d appreciate it if she could scale back because she’s so glamorous in her normal make-up, and you don’t want her high-fashion look to outshine you on your big day…?
Post # 12
Good ideas so far ladies! Thanks! I would treat her to having her makeup done the day-of, but I’m bringing in a makeup artist to do my makeup on-location. There would be no way that the other girls wouldn’t notice that her makeup was being done and then wonder why I wasn’t treating them as well. I don’t want to have to go behind her back and tell them all that I’m doing it because her makeup is bad. Additionally, this particular makeup artist is pricey ($150).
I know the 11 maids is a lot, but my fiance had chosen his 11 groomsmen, asked them, and THEN told me! I was initially planning on 5-6. I freaked and insisted he retract some of the invitation, but he expressed how important it was to him and I figured it was his wedding too, so I just went with it. So far it’s no different than 6 maids, except that whenever I want to buy something it’s a really big purchase!
Post # 13
I think you can try what others have suggested and make a day just the 2 of you at the makeup counter.
But, I think you should be prepared for what may be a reality – that your Bridesmaid or Best Man LIKES her makeup like that. From the sounds it, its pretty intense, and most people wouldn’t wear that much on a regular basis, but I’m sure she knows how much makeup she is wearing and she does it like that for a reason. I think you need to decide whether you are just going to come out and ask her to tone it down. I’d personally be really offended if someone asked me that, and I think when you have 11 bridesmaids, nobody will notice in pictures. I think you need to pick your battles and I’m not sure this is a great choice since you’ll likely end up really hurting her feelings if you say something.
Post # 14
What a tough situation to be in. On one hand you can’t force her do her make up in a specific way, but on the other hand you want all the bridesmaids to match. PPs ideas were great- maybe do a trail while you are all togther and give specific instructions and see how she does it?
Post # 15
I would be honest, but poliet.
Do you really think she would be offended if you expressed that you would like her to “humor” your style for your wedding day and try to be more conservative with her makeup for your wedding day??
Tell her your style is more subtle/conservative and you would like your bridemaids to reflect that also (you want everyone to “match”).
Are all the other bridemaids doing there own makeup? Maybe you can find another less expesive makeup artist and ask all the girls if they would want to pay for having their makeup professionally done?
I only had 4 bridemaids, but they all requested that I find a makeup artist for them, which they each individually paid for.
Good Luck! Hope it works out whatever way it goes.
Post # 16
I agree w/ other posters that have said…. with 11 BMs, she may not even get noticed!