(Closed) Bridesmaid with newborn

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
2656 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@armybride2014:  Maybe ask her how she feels. She may want to step down as bm. There is no way she will be focused on you on the day. Especially as she will probably have to bring the baby. 

Post # 4
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@armybride2014:  One of my girls had a 4 month old.  I actually asked her to bring her.  Her husband was going to be there and could help so I figured that would be best, but she chose to have her Mom stay home & watch the baby for the day.

I would leave it up to her.  I don’t really think it’s fair with a brand new baby to worry about her being distracted for photos, etc.  I’m sure if there is someone there to help out for a bit, she will be fine.  Is Dad part of the picture? If not, many people would be more than happy to hold a little baby for a bit & help out!!

Post # 5
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@armybride2014:  I think that as her friend, you should respect that her newborn is going to be more important to her than your wedding. That’s just reality. Let her bring the baby to the wedding and trust that she can handle being a new mom and a bridesmaid. I wouldn’t trust my month old baby with anyone, I would want them with me for the day. 

Post # 6
11744 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@armybride2014:  is her SO coming wit her? I’m sure he/she is capable of watching the baby during pictures and the ceremony, etc. baby will sleep most of the time anyway. Otherwise, I’d offer to allow her to bring a babysitter along with her. this is what we did for our groomsman who had a newborn.  

Post # 7
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@armybride2014:  Ditto what another poster said: Her baby is more important to her that “your” day.  I’m sure she’ll just hand the baby off for non-baby photos, but she’s not going to want to be away from her newborn.  How “focused” does she need to be on you for this whole event?

Post # 8
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - NH

The baby is definitely the priority here.  My best friend will have a newborn and is in our wedding party.  She will also be breastfeeding with no guarantee that the baby will be taking a bottle well (her first did not like bottles at all, but maybe this one will be different).  She’s bringing a family member to help while we get ready/during the ceremony.  I recognize the fact that she may need to attend to the baby, even during the ceremony.  As long as she’s there I’m happy!  I don’t care if she has to step away from the front with us either.  She’s also the first person to say that she didn’t care where I got married (hours away from our homes), that she’d be there.  That’s all that matters to me.  Whatever you decide, just know that she may not be able to attend if she can’t bring the infant. 

Post # 9
2837 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@armybride2014:  My Future Sister-In-Law will have a newborn at our wedding- about a month old (or a little less if baby comes late!)– she decided to get a babysitter, but we told her the baby was more than welcome to come.  Why don’t you just ask BM’s hubby/SO to come early with her for pics to take care of the baby?  

One of our Groomsmen is ALSO going to have a newborn- about one month or less as well- and while he isn’t mom, we know they are bringing baby to the wedding (which we are totally cool with) and while we don’t know what she will do, we told our Groomsmen that if they wanted to drive together, or if his wife just wanted to come early to hang, we were totally cool with that.


I’m NOT implying that you are doing this- but people have to remember that while your wedding day is super important, other people’s lives can still happen (i.e. babies)- and it can all mesh together pretty well as long as all parties involved are willing 🙂

Post # 11
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

You should give her the option of bringing the baby. There is no way I would get a 1 month old babysat. I breastfed, and pumping was a huge pain, so it was simply not an option.

So long as her partner is there though, baby won’t be a huge distraction most of the time. Apart from taking time to feed, the father can look after baby, and they sleep a lot at that age. If the father isn’t in the picture, you should invite someone else (e.g. her mother) to help with the baby.

Post # 12
3112 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

@armybride2014:  I would not spend more than an hour at the most away from my one month old baby. A newborn can not be with a babysitter all day. 

Post # 13
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

She should bring the baby, and if her partner is not in the picture or is unable to attend, you should extend her a +1 so she can bring the helper of her choice. 

Post # 14
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014


Post # 15
9130 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

There’s no way she’s gonna get a babysitter for a one-month-old! No way in hell. You’re going to have a way to make this work…


Post # 16
9041 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@armybride2014:  I feel like the baby will distract her from helping and being able to take pictures.We are really close and it is important to have her focused…. 

Are you seriously jealous of a baby? Are you only 1 month old and dependent on this women for help?

Seriously you need to realise that she has a one month old who will require her attention more so than you require it. If you really are that close then you should be more understanding and deal with the fact that her baby is way more important to her than your wedding and as a mother her focus should primarily be on that child.

How do you bring this up with her? Well what you say is friend I am so excited for you to be having a baby and I understand that they require a lot of attention especially when they are newborns. I want to know how I can support you and make you more comfortable on my wedding day. Let me know what you can and can’t do and I will work out the rest. And please do not feel pressured to attend anything that you do not want to including getting ready together. Whilst I would love to have you there for everything but as your close friend I understand that baby takes priority in your life right now. What is most important to me is having you there standing up with me at the ceremony.



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