Post # 1
i would like the opinion of you bees on a kind of sensitive topic…tattoos.
i would like to point out i have tattoos myself but they are not in a location that will be shown on the wedding day or when wearing any form of semi formal dress.( they are on my outer thighs and soon to be my lower back)
one of the girls i want as a bridesmaid has an extensive ammount of tattoos(she is a tattoo artist), her right arm is covered and the right has a line of text on the inside and amother on her upper back. i am fine with her tattoos most of the time, they are REALLY not my style, but to each their own. my problem is that for the ceremony i dont neccisarily want them to show because to me they will draw some unwanted attention and the tattoos are pretty much the opposite of what i want to be expressed on what will be really happy day for me.(they are mostly pictures of skulls, japanese demons, things on fire that sort of thing… really angry looking)
i am thinking of getting some long sleeve shrugs for all the bridesmaids to wear so she is not being singled out and ask them to wear them for the ceremony and pictures. i know she really doesnt like wearing sleeves but that has been the best option i have come up with. for the reception they can take them off if they want to i dont really care about that.so much. i dont want to offend her by asking her to cover them up with makeup or anything and honestly i dont think it would work. these things are large and mostly dark colors.
i just dont want to look back at pictures later on and all i can see is these big tattoos staring back at me. i have been tossing this around so much in my head but what do you think? am i being unreasonable? is there anything else i could do? help me please!
Post # 3
Well I would talk with her and see what she is willing to go along with. Also – good photographer will know how to pose her so the tattoos are not the focal point of the pictures.
On the other paw, if she is a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I assume you know her fairly well and knew she has tattoos. A tattoo artist at that. Package deal IMO. As I have tattoos (although more discretely located – like yours), I personally would be offended if I was asked to cover my tattoos after previously asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t suggest getting the jackets just to conceal your one bridesmaids tattoo sleeve, you don’t want to single her out. Personally, I don’t think it is so bad. You knew she had the tattos before you asked her to a bridesmaid so obviously she means something to you. I used to work at a catering hall in college and saw my share of bridesmaids tattoos and they never outshined or took attention away from the bride. It’s your and your fiances day. I think your mind will be a million different happy places and not on your friends tattos. However if it really bothers you and you think you wouldn’t be able to get over it than maybe you should talk to her about it. Regardless of what you do best of luck with your wedding plans and wedding!
Post # 5
To be honest? I never understand when brides say they will bring unwanted attention [see: take attention away from me]
I have been to weddings with bridesmaids with heavy tattoos and I have said, oh how cool, and then focused on the bride and the ceremony. No one is going to be knocking down chairs to take photos of the bridesmaid with the tattoos.
If you want to cover her, then you need to cover the rest of the girls. But like I say to everyone, it’s just a tattoo or many. It’s not the end of the world.
Post # 6
@Miss Bug Well said! I was thinking this myself–it is the BRIDE and GROOM’s day!
Remember, you can’t control what other people do/think. If you love this Bridesmaid or Best Man for who she is, then this should be a non-issue. And, it isn’t a message YOU are sending (her choice of images)–rather, it is HER sending the message.
Post # 7
@aprose:You knew she had tattoo before you asked her to be a bridesmaids and it really isn’t fair to single her out because of them. And in the case of your photos and you looking back on them. Honestly who cares? They aren’t going to take attention away from you as a bride and why wouldn’t you want to look at your photos and see your friends for who they are. These people are your friends, they all have their own personalities that you obviously love them for or they wouldn’t be your friends. So why not let her just be herself? Like it or not the tattoos are a part of her and who she is.
Post # 8
I have to agree with other PP’s you chose her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man even with knowing she has Tattoos and yourself has tattoos. Put yourself in her shoes if someone asked you and you cover up your tattoos if the did show. I think you would probably feel offended also. Tattoos are part of a person, it is who they are. I know myself would be offended, they are part of who I am, and I only have 2 of them.
Post # 9
Every single one of my bridesmaids will have atleast 1 tattoo showing in there dresses. I love my girls and the tattoos are part of them I would never ask them cover them up.
Post # 10
i was origionally ok with her showing the tattoos on her aroms because it was just the text and cherry blossoms but a couple weeks ago she showed up wearing a hoddie (in july!) and winced when she brushed a doorframe and then when she finally took off the jacket BLAM!!! there is 5 BIG tattoos looking back at me. it went from flowers to all of these angry things covering her arm. i was shocked to say the least.
i dont want to ask her to cover her tattoos spcifically. thats why i have the idea of the shrugs for all the girls. and its also going to be in march or in october/november (havnt set the date yet) so it will be pretty chilly here in oregon during that time frame.
i fully support her as a tattoo artist and her choices to get ink but i dont want it to become a focal point. we have had pictures taken recently in a group and everone that sees them comment about how much they stand out and draw attention and all that and i just dont want that to happen for pictures that are so important. i am also trying to avoid a conflict of a traditional family that will make a stink about it. everyone of my girls will have at least 1 tattoo showing weather or not they are wearing shrugs.
i have been in a position where iwas asked to cover a tattoo that is on my lowerthigh and knee and honestly i was not offended at all because i know that it is not in some peoples taste to have body art showing.
Post # 11
@aprose:So if you do plan on putting ALL of your bridesmaids in shrugs, are you expecting them to keep them on all night? These tattoos are a part of who your friend is, and by not wanting them to show up in your pictures is like saying you don’t want her in your pictures.
Post # 12
Well and to also point out she won’t be in all the pictures, just some.
Being a tattoo artist this is expected that she will have tattoos. If you didn’t want them in the pictures then you shouldn’t of asked her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.
I think you are worrying about nothing.
Post # 13
@ENarcy: like i said it would only be for pictures and the cermony. and there will still be tattoos showing its just the new ink thats on the area between elbow and shoulder. thats why i was thinking of geting a shrug. the dresses are knee length so all of the tattoos on the legs and feet (on all the girls) will be visible.
Post # 14
You aren’t getting married until 2015? Girl!!! Don’t stress about this now! This is so unimportant! If that’s your true date, you don’t even know if you will be friends by then! Hell! She may stop liking tattoos and get them all removed in the next two years!
Post # 15
I think long sleeved shrugs for all the girls would be fine and its not unreasonable if they are on everyone. Do whatever you feel comfortable with! 🙂 I have tattoos (very small on wrist and neck) but I know my family especially grandparents would be shocked if one of my bridesmaids tattoos were showing for the ceremony. So I totally get where you are coming from.
Post # 16
@Miss Tattoo: THIS.
One of my bridesmaids (FSIL) has a bunch and it never crossed my mind. I don’t think it will bring attention; I’m pretty sure most people have seen tattoos before.
I think you should talk to her about it, especially if it’s obvious that they will only be wearing the cover ups because of her tattoos.