Post # 1
My oldest friend (we grew up together)is one of my bridesmaids. last year I was one of hers. My mom and I took on the expense of throwing her a shower in a nice restaurant because she has no money and neither does her family… this year, she has decided to skip my shower so that she can do a fundraiser for the dog park she visits (as if no one else could help her out with that). Apparently the fundraiser which is 2pm-6pm, needs her to be there at 7 am and she can’t possibly go to my shower.
ETA: Im not trying to sound bratty – I’m just sad she won’t be there…
I feel…offended and disappointed.
I kind of picked her only bc she is my oldest friend – we aren’t really that close. I just know that I made a huge effort go get out of work and to make things nice for her when she got married, but she took on this fundraiser after she knew the date of my shower and then didn’t come.
Post # 3
I am so sorry to hear that. I just had a similar situation with one of mine. Rather than come to my shower that happens, you know, once in a life time, she decided to go rafting. I scheduled the entire shower around her to make it work for her and she decided to go white water rafting. I could have strangled her. It’s so frustrating!
Post # 4
@jouissance: Not trying to stir the pot but have you considered that maybe there’s another reason she doesn’t want to go to the shower and she’s using this as a reason to not attend? Maybe she can’t afford a gift, maybe she feels awkward in these settings, maybe she just really doesn’t like showers and wants to spare you from seeing her sulking the whole time?
Post # 5
Not really. She went to her other friend’s shower a month ago and had a blast. Plus, she knows I am aware of her financial situation – and she just paid $700 to do a triathlon for charity. I doubt she feels awkward because homegirl is the life of most parties. I think she just didn’t want to have to ask someone to help her out on the fundraiser.
Post # 6
I’d be disappointed if a friend of mine kind of blew me off, but I think you should just let this one go. She is an adult, and as such you don’t get to tell her how to spend her time or her money.
Post # 7
Ah, well that sucks then. I’m out of excuses for her! 🙂
P.S. Love that you just said ‘homegirl’. I say that all the time. High five.
Post # 8
I know how you feel 🙁 My Maid/Matron of Honor picked a few possible dates for the shower and then checked with everyone to make sure they were available. One of my bridesmaids just didn’t respond to her (after weeks of asking her), so they went ahead and put down the deposit at the resturant. A couple hours later, my other bridesmaid almost gleefuly told me that she “unfortunately” couldn’t come because she was going out of the country on a trip she planned last year. I honestly think she just really didn’t want to attend & was hoping they’d pick that day so she had an excuse not to come. It just kinda hurt my feelings a little, but oh well. Can’t do anything about it.
Post # 9
Oh I didn’t want to tell her how…I’m just disappointed that she didn’t come to the conclusion on her own, that dressing her dog up as a hippie in exchange for $10 donations to the ASPCA, which happens every year, was less important than coming to my shower and being supportive…especially since I threw her her shower last year, and I wasn’t even the maid of honor.