(Closed) Bridesmaid won't order her dress!

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2171 posts
Buzzing bee

She’s being flaky but it could be a number of things. She doesn’t have the money to order it and doesn’t want to say….has other things going on in her life she doesn’t feel comfortable talking about, etc.

I suggest you order it in her number size, or if they run small a size bigger, and pay for it. Then you get the exact dresses you want in the color order that is important to you. Don’t ask her to pay you back, just tell her when they are in that she will need to have a fitting. 

Post # 3
942 posts
Busy bee

I agree with

View original reply
babygrandmabee: that you might as well order the dress in her size and not ask for her to give you money back.  I would send her a quick text before you buy hey saying ‘hey, not to rush you, but tomorrow i was goign to buy your dress, and i was going to order it in this size.  what do you think? hope you had a nice weekend’ type of a thing.  do you know if maybe something is going on in her life that is preventing her from wanting to discuss wedding related things/ regular things?  i hope she is doing alright!

Post # 4
7055 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Is it possible she’s having financial difficulties and is too embarrassed to tell you? Or has some other issue she’s dealing with? I agree with PP, if you do order it for her you should order a size up–sizing can be incredibly inconsistent and it’s always easier to take a dress in than to try to deal with a dress that’s too small. 

Post # 7
10044 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I guess I would be more concerned about not hearing from my friend in a few weeks than about a bridesmaids dress. 

Post # 8
47294 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Stop texting. Pick up someone else’s phone and give her a call. It is harder to avoid things when you are talking in person.

Tell her you are concerned about her lack of response and ask her if there is anything going in in her life that is preventing her from ordering her dress. If she says no, I would remind her of the deadline, tell her that you have re-assigned the colors, then leave the ball in her court. If she makes the deadline, she is  bridesmaid.

IF she says she can’t afford to order it, are you prepared to front her the money as ling as she pays you back? You need to know your response before you ask the question.  You could offer her the opportunity to wear a dress of her choice and do a reading rather than be a bridesmaid.

Post # 9
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Try actually calling instead of texting? Maybe you’ll get lucky and she will pick up 🙂

Love the colors! 

Post # 10
2124 posts
Buzzing bee

Is it possible she’s not confident in giving someone her measurements? Even if you say she’s attractive, or skinny, or keeps fit, she might still see her measurements as being too big. Or too small even. Talk to her, find out if there are any problems, and maybe just check that she’s still okay to be a bridesmaid 

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 1 month ago by  garnobella.
Post # 11
267 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Cellar 222

You should call her for sure! Or if she won’t talk to you could you try to get a mutual friend to contact her and ask what’s up? She might be angry about something and you haven’t realized it yet. Or maybe she’s going through something heavy.

If all that fails you might have to reconsider her being a bridesmaid. She might just not have the ability to do it right now.

I hope she’s okay!

Post # 12
1449 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

View original reply
MrsFiveOh:  Wait… you’re making your bridesmaids buy dresses that you yourself can’t even afford? 

Post # 13
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Do NOT buy that dress until you get a straight answer from her- this may be her way of flaking out. Plus purchasing a dress for one girl who can afford it is not right to your other bridesmaids. I’m on the verge of a come to Jesus talk with one of my girls because of the same issue. 

Post # 14
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Pick up the phone and call her and get to the bottom of this. Don’t frame it as being worried about a dress, say you are worried about her and how she has been distant. Tell her that if there is something going on, she can tell you and you will understand. But do not make it all about the dress – your friendship is worth more than a dress, and there is obviously something else going on.

Post # 15
399 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
marriedtopizza:  I read it more like it’s not in the budget, and if she does it for 1 bridesmaid she’d have to do it for them.  If she’s in a region where it’s typical for girls to buy their own dresses, she wouldn’t have budgeted for it.

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