(Closed) Bridesmaid WON’T pay! What to do?!?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m not sure what the problem is. You said her mom is paying for her dress and you talked about her perhaps owing the other bridesmaids a sum of less than $20.

If she’s not working it’s understandable that she can’t afford these expenses. Maybe that’s why she is not attending the shower.

I would just cover it myself and send her share to the other bridesmaids.

Post # 4
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with julies1949 – I’d just cover the cost myself.

Post # 5
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Where do you expect her to get money from to throw you a shower?  I heard the long winter isn’t good for the growth of money trees, mine isn’t doing much either.

Post # 6
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would be upset with the other bridesmaids for even telling me all this nonsense. They are emailing her about less than $20 and she isn’t even attending the shower? I would just give one of the girls hosting a $20.

Post # 7
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I wouldn’t expect anyone who isn’t attending an event to help pay for it.

Post # 8
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If she can’t afford to fly in for the shower, I don’t think it’s really fair to expect her to chip in and help pay for the shower, regardless of the amount. I agree with jules1949, I’d just offer to cover her portion myself.

Post # 9
Member
4518 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

If she literally owes less than $20, I would just tell her privately that you’ll cover her expenses except for her dress. I agree with her that she shouldn’t necessarily have to pay for a bridal shower that she’s not attending. It doesn’t have to be “fair” to the other bridesmaids, especially when she’s not working.

Post # 10
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@R.Elliott: I’m with you. I wouldn’t help cover an event that I wasn’t attending. That seems nuts to me.

Post # 11
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with you, when she signed on to be a bridesmaid, she signed on to help pay for the shower.. if the shower is costing less than $20, then by no means is anybody asking too much. Its all about budgeting and how you want to spend your money.

Post # 13
Member
4770 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@kingytobe:

Nope, she agreed to stand by the bride on her wedding in a dress of the bride’s choosing.  They rest is optional, and should not be taken as a given.

Post # 14
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@Brunette314: “The problem is she won’t contribute to the shower like the other girls.  I myself am searching for a job and don’t have money either so I understand the issue but my parents are helping me out until I get a job and I am also in 2 other weddings this year.”

Still not understanding how that changes the fact that she can’t afford the shower expenses. It sounds to me like you’re expecting a little too much out of this girl who can’t afford it. Either pay her share or don’t, there isn’t much else to be done. YOU are the one who is in 2 other weddings, this is not her problem. She agreed to buy the dress and show up to support you, she’s really not obligated beyond that. Sorry.

Post # 15
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Atalanta: I agree, being a bridesmaid is morstly honorary, but there are certain responsibilities. One of those is monetary.

Post # 16
Member
5797 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

@kingytobe: I disagree, my bridesmaids are not footing the bill for my shower. Showers are nice but optional.

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