(Closed) bridesmaid!

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I would go ahead and talk to her about it- but limit it to this one issue. Let her know you are really concerned about her missing rehearsal & ask if she can possibly get off early or rework her hours.  If she hems & haws, and it’s possible she really CAN’T get off work (does she teach?) maybe you can work around it.  If she works somewhere you KNOW she could rework the schedule and she wont do it, offer her an out.  I wouldn’t bring up the dress (except to say, pick it up!) or the shower at this point, it’s not worth it now.  Good luck :/

Post # 4
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2007

I agree with piper.  It’s hard working with your bridal party, especially if they’re not as enthusiastic as you.  It may not be because she doesn’t care, but just because she doesn’t know that it’s important to you. 

I would talk to your bridesmaid and be honest and ask if she could rearrange her schedule.  If not, there’s not much you can do about it.  I would also ask her if everything is okay and if she’s excited to be in the wedding.  Make sure you let her know that you are honored to have her in your wedding party, but you’re not sure if she’s interested anymore.  Sometimes, it’s hard for other people to understand that your wedding is important and don’t realize that being a bridemaids means more than just a good friend.  Maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor can help as well if you’re not the confrontational type… Good luck!

Post # 5
96 posts
Worker bee

I would simply ask if she can possibly try to get off earlier, and tell her that it’s very important to you that she be there.  If there is a real reason that she can’t, then it is probably best to take a deep breath and let it go.  If it really is an issue of she just doesn’t want to put in the effort to go, though, then I would share calmly about how you are feeling and that you are hurt that she doesn’t seem interested in participating. Hopefully that will open up to a conversation that can help both of you show each other how you are feeling.  Hope to help!

Post # 6
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2007

i agree with plumeria…. if she can’t attend the rehearsal, then i think it will be okay.  she can just follow the other girls in what to do on the day of.  but if it’s more of the effort that you’re upset at, then yes, a talk would be good.

as a bride, i know that i’ve had some expectations of my bridesmaids that may not have been considerate of their circumstances.  but when i step back and think about it, they all have really super busy lives too and they’re doing the best they can to be there for me when they can.  so maybe it might help to just talk to your friend about her personal circumstances… if her work is super strict, or if her dad’s birthday is some milestone birthday… i dunno, you might just have to take what she has to offer for what it is and not want more.  good luck!

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