- 5 years ago
- Wedding: April 2013
The past two days have been an emotional roller coaster. Everyone warned me that the wedding planning process would show who your true friends are, and it definitely has. Two days ago, one of the bridesmaids called me saying she couldn’t afford the dress and asking me to pay for it. I emailed all the girls in October (3 months ago) to let them know they dresses would cost 120.00 and they needed to be ordered by January 13th. Why didn’t she tell me this earlier? I explained to her that there were going to be many more expenses, other than the dress (since she is out of town), and I didn’t want to burden her. She ended up backing out, and is now doing the register for us.
Yesterday was the big blow up. Here’s the backgroud of the story. Something happened between my Maid/Matron of Honor and one of my bridesmaids in highschool (5) years ago, and the bridesmaid still refuses to talk to my Maid/Matron of Honor. I am close with both of them, but since I got engaged, this bridesmaid has made a scene over everything. The day we went dress shopping, she refused to come to lunch with us beforehand, and when we walked into the dress shop she was crying about issues with her boyfriend. Everytime they asked me stuff about what dresses I liked, she always answered for me. It’s been this way with everything, and I finally got fed up. My Maid/Matron of Honor planned a 3 night getaway for my bachelorette party, and explained to the girls it was optional. It is 100.00 to go for 3 nights, which I think is a great price. This bridesmaid called me yesterday morning and said she just couldnt afford to go (in a very rude voice). My Maid/Matron of Honor had told the girls to contact her about whether they could go or not, since I had nothing to do with the planning of it. Clearly my bridesmaid didn’t want to talk to the Maid/Matron of Honor, since she still has a problem with her. She tells me it is for financial reasons she cant go for the weekend getaway, but I find that hard to believe when she just bought 300.00 boots this past week. I just imagined a nice wedding planning experience, and it has gone to hell these past two days. After hearing her bitch at me over the phone yesterday, I had had enough. I told her this was suppose to be a happy and fun time, not a dreaded thing everytime we have to get together. So finally I told her I didn’t want her in my wedding.
She called me back and I told her I was sick of her acting like a child. Her repsonse was, “You know I’m good in awkward situations. She (my MOH) will be the one that feels awkward.” The point is, it isn’t going to get better. I think she thought I was joking, but I’m not. So here is the plan I have. My sister in law is going to take her place (which I’ve wanted in the wedding since day 1, but I couldn’t have her due to numbers), and her and the bridesmaid wear the same size dress. Since the dress has already been ordered through David’s Bridal, I am going to call and tell them I need to change the phone number and email address for her (acting like her), so that I get the notification when the dress comes in. Then, I plan on paying her when the dress comes in. Do you think it’s wrong of me to have my fiance call and tell her we don’t mind if she is at the wedding, we just don’t want her in it? I can’t handle any more stress. I have a chronic immune disorder that is made significantly worse by stress. He offered, and tends to stay calm in situations like this, so I think it would be better for him to talk to her, instead of me, at this point. Do you think the dress shop will let me call and change her information since it’s technically all under my name?
I just want some answers. Thanks!
P.S. It felt good to vent – finally.