(Closed) Bridesmaid/entourage dilemma

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What would you suggest?
    Take out one of the groomsmen who wasn't FI's original choice anyway : (3 votes)
    14 %
    Ask a close cousin as the replacement : (0 votes)
    Leave the entourage uneven : (18 votes)
    86 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2542 posts
    Sugar bee

    Either replace her with your cousin as you mentioned, or have one of the groomsmen walk two bridesmaids down (one on each arm) instead 🙂

    Post # 4
    Member
    2542 posts
    Sugar bee

    Sorry, double post

    Post # 5
    Member
    1251 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I assume you have already asked this fourth groomsman to be in your wedding party? If so then definitely I would not now tell him he’s out because of uneven pairings. That would really hurt my feelings if someone did that to me or I found out they only had me in the party in the first place so there was even numbers. 

    I see so many wedding pics these  days where there are not even groomsman to bridesmaids and I really don’t think it is a big deal at all. It looks fine and not awkward at all. It’s not like life demands we have an equal number of close friends/siblings to everyone else so why should it matter on the wedding day 🙂  If you are close to your cousin and would like her to stand up to you then ask but not just so you have even numbers.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This happened to both my hubby and I a few times.  It went like this…. I had 4 then I had 3 then I had 5 then on my wedding day I had 3.  He had 2 then he had 8 then he had 6 on the wedding day.  Really this never bothered me.  The fact that they were “uneven” in pictures really never bothered me, and they walked down the aisles in the way that they were all comfortable, and when we had them enter the reception we introduced the guys first, then the girls.  My advice is that if you really cannot see your day without those people standing up there with you then keep everyone in as it stands.  But if your guy is already on the rocks with one of his guys or someone is looking for an out… then he could dismiss one.  I would feel bad, and wouldnt want to make that person step down, if it was merely to keep the numbers even.  These days, it really is a non issue about the traditional way of thinking that the numbers absolutely have to be even.  There are very subtle ways to work around it, and trust me, no one will ever bat an eye in the differences.  Seems like with a wedding overseas, you have enough to worry about, and I wouldnt let this one get you hung up.  You just need to enjoy your day!

    Post # 8
    Member
    581 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    So, what if you ask someone else, or ask the dude to step down, but then she comes (because it sounds like that’s her plan) and has her dress and everything? 

    I would just leave it uneven, have the best man walk in with your fiance and then each girl can be escorted.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1299 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @alyssa247:  When I look at my pictures (the only real reason that the whole uneven nature would be an issue IMO) I just see my beautiful happy day.  I don’t see the uneven nature of the party.  Instead I see a group of people who really love us and care for us, and went the extra mile to be a special part of our day.  Hope it all works out for you!

    Post # 11
    Member
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Think of it this way.  Either you want these people to stand up for you on your wedding day, or they are wedding props.  If you boot your groomsman, you are giving him the message that he was the latter, and that’s really an unkind act.

    I will add that this happened to my Darling Husband, and they decided to delete him from the groomsmen’s list.  As a consolation prize, they offered to let him be an usher.  Um…no thanks.

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    309 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Seriously uneven bridal party is your biggest worry?

    It’s a lot to ask someone to be in your Bridal Party just so your pictures are symmetrical. Have two Groomsmen walk with one Bridesmaid or Best Man. Bam. we are having zero Groomsmen and one Best Man since my Fiance didn’t feel right asking anyone else. I wanted my BFF as my Maid/Matron of Honor and two friends as Bridesmaid or Best Man. That’s who we’d want to spend the day with.

    I hope your friend takes care of herself and all is well!

    Post # 14
    Member
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2014 - Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts

    I read before never to replace a bridesmaid. I would have to agree that knowing you were not the original choice would somehow hurt feelings. I would suggest keeping it the way it is developing. As someone mentioned, have the last bridesmaid walk down the aisle with two groomsmen and it will be fine. I have four on my side, I originally only wanted three. He has three and is debating on adding more, but its his decision. I am not going to stress it b/c its different for women, we need to know whos in it 6-12 months before the wedding to get the dresses back in time. The guys decision usually doesn’t have to be finalized that far in advance. 

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