(Closed) Bridesmaides problems…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If you truely want them in your party change your date to accomodate. Otherwise it’s perfectly acceptable to pick other girls or have none at all and honor them in different ways like how come do with deceased relatives and such.

Post # 4
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  That is a bummer! At least the girls were honest and upfront with you. Do you have any cousins or siblings that you are close to?

Post # 5
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m sorry! This sounds like such a bummer πŸ™

It should only take 6-8 weeks to get over a C section, which would be cutting it close but I would think she could participate. Being a bridesmaid isn’t exactly strenuous, but she would have to worry about her newborn being fed and taken care of. 

As for your other friend that is taking a month off to go to europe, it feels awfully selfish to know that you are supposed to be in a friends wedding and that you’re blowing it off for an extra couple of days on vacation. It’s not fair to you to say that they “aren’t sure”. They shouldn’t have agreed to the job if they knew they were going to do this.

Are you already booked for this date? Have you sent out STD’s? I know it seems ridiculous to change your date because of this, but my friend did. She had planned her cross country wedding the week before mine! And I had to tell her there was no way I could make that and be able to get to my own wedding without being totally exhausted. She had just started planning and changed her date (they changed it like 4 times). I felt really bad but she wanted me there!

Post # 8
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@KIKI25: Honestly for a newborn of that age she shouldn’t be leaving it alone for more than a day. If she’s breastfeeding, she needs to be available for whenever the baby is hungry, so you should expect her to bring it. If you have already booked everything then I would leave it be. Tell them that you appreciate their friendship but since it doesn’t look like they will be  able to make it you’ll have to find someone else. It’s really nice of you to handle this so well, I know its disappointing but sometimes life happens. And don’t forget, you dont NEED bridesmaids. If you don’t feel close enough to anyone you don’t have to ask them. I actually considered making my mom a bridesmaid because she’s closer to me than many of my girlfriends – but I think she’s too excited to be MOB πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
987 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

It is sad when that happens πŸ™  You sound like a nice person and I think that things will work out in the end – they always do.  My advice would be to give it some time before making a decision on what to do next.

 

Post # 11
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

That is a bummer. But do realize that other people have things going on in their lives as well. So sometimes people just can’t be in your wedding. I’ve always wanted my sis-in-law to be a bridesmaid, but she will be having her baby a month before our wedding. I don’t want her worrying about fitting into a bridesmaid dress and spending tons of time away from her newborn just because I’m getting married. She will attend the wedding (if there are no complications) and that is enough for me.

I guess what I’m saying is, everything doesn’t always happen as planned or expected. I’m sure those two friends still love you. And I think it’s fair for them to be honest with you and say they can’t make it. It sucks REALLY bad… but don’t say they are just looking after their own interest like they don’t care about you. Give them the benefit of the doubt… they care about you! Life just happens.

Post # 12
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Hang in there. Invite your friends to the wedding as guests. If by some good chance you do wind up getting a positive response, particularly from the friend soon to have her child, you might consider setting aside a poem for her to read or asking her to say a few words during the reception should she be able to make it after all. This way, you can still honor her if she is able to come. Otherwise, no matter what, know your friends will be with you that day in your heart. πŸ™‚ You’ll have lots of photos and video to share with them when you are all together next.

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