(Closed) Bridesmaid/Friend Drama :(

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It sounds like you two are going in different directions/paths in life.  It happens sometimes.  It doesn’t make either of you bad, but it’s similar to a breakup with a boyfriend (except that it’s with 2 emotional females).  Wish her well, tell her you care about her, but know that you both are going down different roads with your lives.

Post # 4
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’d seriously consider dropping her from the wedding. She will probably upset you on the day and be in your pictures the rest of your life, which will then upset you each time. The only other option is to leave it as is and do nothing.

Post # 7
Member
3596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Sarabara590:  It’s too bad that you two are going through this. It’s a bad time for you to have someone you love, your friend, bale on you. You-l-egitimately–don’t have enough time or attention for her. Probably you never WILL have that kind of time for her any more.

These things happen, freindships end. People move on to a different stage of life and their old firends don’t always fit in. Weddings are stressors that bring these differences to light.

I guess that I would, the next time you see her, express sympathy toward her hurt feelings, but make no promises to change. You can acknowledge the hurt she is feeling without doing anything about it because it’s unlikely that you will change your life to accomodate her.

Probably after your wedding, your friendship will be greatly diminished.

 

Post # 8
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

It’s hard to be sincere when things are so all over the place, but if you can find some things in your connected past to reminisce about in the card, how much she’s meant to you in the past, and focus on those good things, maybe the words will come easier….friendships go up and down, life happens to us all and we can’t always be everything to each other all of the time…but sometimes if you just hang on long enough, you find your way back to each other..Hope it helps!

Post # 11
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sarabara590:  Don’t let your hurt feelings get the better of you, if this woman was so awful, why did you ask her to stand up with you in the first place?  If you can’t write something nice, don’t write anything at all….and it’s terribly that things have deteriorated to this point for you both…I don’t know a single person so wealthy as to turn away a friend.

Post # 13
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Sarabara590:  I had to read that twice…if it was up to you, she wouldn’t have been in the wedding party???  IT WAS UP TO YOU! 

 

Post # 15
Member
8888 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You have gone through more than enough this year (I am so sorry about your dad!) and she should be WAY more sensitive to your situation. She sounds like a snotty b*tch.

I experienced something similar before my wedding. I thought things had gotten better only to find out they hadn’t, as of the day after the wedding the girl and I are no onger friends (after 16 years of friendship). Now when I look at my wedding photos I cringe because she is in them.  I would hate to think that you’re going to feel this way if you keep her in the wedding.

If you don’t think there is anything left to salvage from the friendship, drop her from your wedding now. Honestly, from what you’ve said, she is not worth it.

ETA: The fact she had to demand to be in your wedding is just rude on her part. I would have said no right off the bat. Also, I just read that you don’t value her friendship. Then why even keep her around? Tell her you don’t want her at the wedding.

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