(Closed) Bridesmaids!

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Who Chooses the BM Attire?
    You choose everything for your BM : (10 votes)
    18 %
    You choose just the dress : (24 votes)
    42 %
    They choose everything : (19 votes)
    33 %
    They choose just the dress : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    103 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I think you can do whatever fits you and your BM’s best. For my BM’s and I it’s just easier for me to pick it all, but I’ve been in serveral weddings where we BM’s picked their own style and shoes.

    Post # 4
    2204 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    It’s hard to answer this poll because there are definitely a million right ways to do this! It depends on several things including the stye of your wedding, your personal preference, probably the financial situation of your BM’s and the variety in sizes and styels about the Bridesmaid or Best Man

    It’s different for every bride and bridesmaids.  I picked out my BM’s dresses and am letting them do hair, jewelry and shoes of their chocie.


    Post # 5
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    Well I didn’t vote.  If there was a choice for other, or to decide together, I would have selected that.  I think the bride is well within her rights to choose something she likes, and in a color fabric etc.  But I think it is only fair to let the BMs have a say.  There are so many things to consider.  What if the style you’d like looks horrible on some?   Or someone is too self conscious to wear something strapless, or someting short?  Colors I think should really be what the bride wants.  I understand some colors might not be flattering to some BMs, but unless it’s absolutely terrible….    I think brides are more committed to the colors they want, than necessarily the specific dress style.  Just my 2 cents.

    If you’re worried about bickering, think of the style you like best, and ask if anyone objects to the one you prefer.  Chances are they will be less likely to speak against what you want, rather than feeling like it’s perefectly acceptable to argue with another Bridesmaid or Best Man, being on equal footing.  You probably will get it figured out.  If it’s a real issue, maybe consider some girls having jackets or wraps, if they prefer, or doing the drsss seperates that some designers offer.  (But I understand wanting to have it all uniform.)

    Post # 6
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    I think it depends on the crowd! I had six BMs, only two of whom were local.  I figured it would actually be easier on them for me to chose one dress, than for the all of them to have to find their own in a specific color/length.  I took the two local girls shopping, snapped pics of them in all the dresses, and then sent them to the group for  a vote (and everyone had a veto option, to make sure they didn’t end up in anything they hated).  I picked the one I liked most out of the top 2-3, ordered them and shipped them all out.  I think the let them pick it out thing works best if 1) they like to shop 2) the color/length is common or 3) you find a designer that has multiple options you like.

    Everything else was up to them – shoes, accessories, hair, etc.  It was funny because about 3 days before the wedding they started emailing around to coordinate jewelry which I thought was adorable.  I probably should have told them I bought them earrings but i didn’t want them to feel obligated to wear them 🙂

    Post # 7
    78 posts
    Worker bee

    Where’s the option for choosing together?  That would be my vote.  Choose together the dress and let them pick accessories, shoes, etc.

    Post # 8
    24 posts
    • Wedding: July 2009

    I picked the dress color but I brought 3 of the girls along to pick out a style they liked. I checked with them about their preferences first, but we all have similar styles so the final decision wasn’t hard. They’ll pick their own shoes–I might recommend a color or a style if there is a really good sale! Hair, makeup, and accessories will definitely be up to them.

    Post # 9
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I voted that I picked just the dress, but actually they picked it from my top options that I had selected. They get to wear their own jewelry and shoes, and I’m surprising them with shawls.

    Post # 10
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    I went into dress shopping with the thought that they would all choose a style that they felt comfy in as long as they were all tea length and a color/fabric I chose.  Turns out they all decided on the same one.  So I have matching bridesmaids now.  I told them to pick out whatever shoes they wanted and jewelry I am ok with them choosing as well.  I’m not terribly picky, I just want them to feel great.  The better they feel, the more likely they are to show it in photos…

    I think every situation is different though.  I have 2 bridesmaids who whole heartedly admit they have no fashion sense and asked not to be left to their own devices. So with them I am shopping for shoes and accessories.  The others have impeccable taste and I’m sure they will look stunning without any guidance.


    Post # 11
    2025 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    All of my girls were local, so we all went together and they all chose 1 dress with me getting final choice.  I let them choose shoes and accessories. I am a bridesmaid in 2 weeks, and although I will never wear the dress again, I am totally fine with that because the bridemaids’ dress is a big deal for the bride, too. But she also chose the shoes, and they are hideous and cost me $60. I will never wear them again, and seriously, they scream "BRIDESMAID." But it is what she wants, so I will not say a word, although I would have really liked a choice in that matter!

    Post # 13
    796 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    We decided most things together, though I did try to find a way to state my preference. I am letting them pick their shoes, but I did mention a color I thought would look best with the dress. I also mentioned that pearls might look best with the dress, but I don’t really care what they’ll wear. They asked me for suggestions and really wanted to know what I wanted them to wear. One was even surprised that I didn’t care how they did their hair!

    Post # 14
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I looked at dresses with my Bridesmaid or Best Man and we all sort of agreed on a dress.  Still need to pick our color though!! I will buy their accessories for them and just ask them to wear gold strappy shoes. 

    Post # 15
    1091 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Oakland Manor

    We’re doing more of a collaboration ( I mean, after I said get this one then changed my mind).  They’re helping research dresses and shoes.  I kinda like one dress better than they do – but really, they’re buying it and isn’t it better if they have a dress they really want and will actually wear again?

    ps. If any of you know of gray (not silver) low shoes please PM me, we can’t find ones we like! 

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