(Closed) Bridesmaids

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

What do you want her to do, break her lease so she can participate in the one day that is your wedding…?

It’s up to her how she spends her money. It’s not up to you to scrutinize her finances. If you want her to be there because it would mean a lot for her to be up there with you, foot the bill or find ways to cut costs. Otherwise, you have to accept the reality.

Post # 4
Member
3649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

You do nothing. She dropped out. End of story. 

Post # 5
Member
424 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
bett28 :  Actually, I think looking at a situation from the outside can be a great perspective to gain clarity from.

The bottom line is, she’s not willing or able to participate. Whatever drama or reasons don’t change the fact that you have limited options within your control. I can understand being frustrated, but you have to accept the situation for what it is, take a breath, and move on.

Post # 6
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Since you didn’t give the whole truth, or even half of it, all people have to go on is your comparison of her rent vs. being a bridesmaid. 🤔 Its rent! I don’t even see how these two are comparable. Regardless, she chose to drop out and you need to accept that. Do nothing.

Post # 7
Member
851 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
bett28 :  Well do tell the full story then.

Post # 8
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

She didn’t want to be in it or she would make it work. I wouldn’t focus on trying to get her back in the wedding you have better things to worry about!

Post # 9
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Serioulsy?

Housing trumps wedding. She let you know she can’t afford it- you move on and do nothing. It’s her expenses- not yours. You have no right to dictate how she spends her money.

Post # 10
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

View original reply
bett28 :  If you really want her to participate, any way you can cover some or all of her costs? Or lower your costs/give alternatives to expensive bridesmaid dresses, etc.? If not, maybe you could give her a different role, such as personal attendant or have her doing a reading for the ceremony? A role that would not require her to spend money?

I’m sorry this is happening, I would be pertty bummed if one of my bridesmaids dropped out. I’m covering the costs of hair/make-up and the dress for my bridesmaids, because I don’t want them to have to spend a lot of money, especially my maid of honor who will be traveling from a different state.  

Post # 11
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

Housing > Being a bridesmaid/attending a wedding.

Honestly, where I live (Seattle), $1200 is below average of what rent is. So when you say that your fiance’s sister is spending $1200/month on her rent, I just shrug because.. that’s normal. And no, we don’t know the “whole truth” as you’ve said beause you didn’t tell us. 

As other bees have said, the bottom line is, fiance’s sister has bowed out, and you need to respect her decision despite the fact that your priorities do not align with hers (…like paying her rent.).

If you need her to attend your wedding, ask her if you could help cover any costs so she could attend. 

Post # 12
Member
1449 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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Post # 13
Member
4767 posts
Honey bee

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Post # 14
Member
6135 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
bett28 :  I’m going with the others, housing trumps wedding. And $1200 is an amazing rent price at least in our area, I wouldn’t let that place go either, especially not for a wedding. I mean, you can’t be seriously asking this without more detail. 

Post # 15
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Write out the whole truth then.

Sorry, your wedding isn’t as important as rent. Until you take the time to explain the sitution you won’t get much sympathy.

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