(Closed) Bridesmaids…

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

It’s hard to know where to draw a line with a friend, especially when it revolves around them acting badly during a major life-event.  I am dealing with the fallout from a mommy-zilla right now who is mad at me for reserving her a nice tearoom for her shower.  🙁  I may not bother with her after this is all over, but I feel obligated to see it through so I can say I did MY part of being a friend, even if she’s confused about what that means.

I’d always expect a sister to trump a friend, except in very distant or estranged families, as far as Maid/Matron of Honor.  

Post # 3
1822 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I’m sorry for how she treated you. While you should have shut her down earlier that doesn’t excuse how she behaved. She was in the wrong.

Glad you had more ups than downs overall though!

Post # 4
248 posts
Helper bee

Hahaha, what a brat! Glad she didn’t ruin your day for you, you are lucky that you had your sister as a gracious and caring Matron of Honour to be there for you on the day 🙂

Post # 5
3228 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I keep thinking that something else was bothering her. Maybe she’s stressed at work or something. When people react in an over the top manner I get a little concerned for their well being. I’m glad your sister was so gracious and your day went well. 

Post # 6
1491 posts
Bumble bee

The friend was obviously way out of line but things like this is why I favor there being one Maid/Matron of Honor. When you’re given the title Maid/Matron of Honor it is easy to make assumptions about your seniority/ importance and it does not seem like it was clearly communicated to her in advance that she was basically the less important Maid/Matron of Honor. 

Post # 7
47423 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Shutting down a drunk is easier said than done. Also quit blaming your other friend. She didn’t alllow your BFF to drink 6 glasses of wine, anymore than you did. Put this in the past and let it go.

Post # 8
568 posts
Busy bee

Good grief! What drama!! I didn’t even know this was a thing. I was just going to hand bouquet to whoever stands closest to me hahahaha

well leason learned. Hope things smooth over

Post # 9
75 posts
Worker bee

Jeez, if you were my daughter I wouldn’t have made you two hug it out, I would have gone Ursula Sea Witch on her.

Before my best friend and her sister became estranged (…friend family drama, good times), her sister and I loathed each other. And I was my friend’s closest, closest friend. But even I knew back then, once my bestie got married, her sister would have all those close and intimate duties. Because she was her sister.

Your friends are pieces of work. I know you know this now, but it’s always nice for that to be confirmed.

Post # 10
9276 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
st0dad :  I don’t think your friend handled this right at all and her delivery was way out of line. But it sounds like you were responsible for a lack of communication, so much so that your other friend pointed this out. You said you told her that duties would be shard but then gave them all to your sister so I can kind of see why your MOH’s feeling were hurt. You probably shoukd have just made your sister sole Maid/Matron of Honor if she was the one you wanted there with you.

I think you both contributed to this and you both need to apologise.

Post # 11
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
j_jaye :  

The bride needs to apologize to her friend who flipped out on her right before her wedding, threw a childish fit over ridiculous non-issues, and then took it public by making a rude speech?


For once, you might try NOT blaming the OP.

Post # 12
708 posts
Busy bee

You handled it the best way you could and didn’t let it ruin your day! It sounds like she may have something else going on to spark this bad behavior? She ruined the friendship. No point in confronting her at this point.

Post # 13
9276 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
mrskmcob :  No I said they both needed to apologise. The Maid/Matron of Honor for how she acted and the OP for failing to communicate clearly (since it was clearly an issue since others noticed).

Also she didn’t make a rude speech, she made an awkward speech. And the OP was aware that the Maid/Matron of Honor didn’t  feel comfortable and would be nervous.

Post # 15
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
j_jaye :  Honestly, everytime I see you comment on a thread, you’re in some way blaming the OP.

OP, you do not owe the bridesmaid anything. There are a lot more duties than holding the boquet and fluffing the train and I’m sure you had her participate in other Maid/Matron of Honor duties (obviously she gave a speech). For her to throw a fit over that shows how entitled she is. Especially for her to act that way at your rehearsal dinner and on your wedding day, it shows that as far as she’s concernced, it is all about her. She showed no regard or respect for your feelings, which is awful. You shouldn’t have had to deal with that. You should either talk to her about it or cut her lose as a friend. does she have a history of making things all about her?

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