Bridesmaids

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1410 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

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kabawa4991 :  Girl do what you want – it’s your bridal party. 

For reference, my sister is my Maid/Matron of Honor. My only other bridesmaid is my closest friend. FI’s sister wasn’t even a thought when selecting my crew. There’s no custom that says you have to include them.

There would be no rudeness if you didn’t include them, unless you’ve discussed having them as bridesmaids previously. Then, it’s more complicated.

But yeah. Again. Do what you want girl!

Post # 3
Member
648 posts
Busy bee

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kabawa4991 :  I have two bridesmaids, my sister and a friend. We’re close enough to his sister that’s she’s going to be invited to get ready with us the morning of but she’s not mad she’s not a bridesmaid. 

Post # 4
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

You were under no obligation to have his sisters as bridesmaids. If he wants them in the wedding, they can stand on his side. 

Post # 5
Hostess
9171 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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kabawa4991 :  If you aren’t close then I don’t see why you have to. I am having my sister and my best friend but not my FI’s sister (because we aren’t close – she is lovely but he just isn’t close to his family so it would actually be weird for me to have her!)

Post # 6
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I agree that you can choose whomever you want. If you are having a smaller wedding, just your sisters make sence. 

It really does depend on the family, though. I will be having my future fiance’s sister on my side and he will be having my brothers on his (I have no sisters and he has no brothers) but its more of a mingling of families, and in both of our families its considered a sign of disrespect to not ask the brothers/sisters. So we will make it work. But if you’re okay with it, and he’s okay with it, then I would just ask them to do something else! Like get ready with you, or do some readings. 

Post # 7
Member
5013 posts
Bee Keeper

While it’s not exactly rude not to make them bridesmaids, it is short-sighted. All this crap about “it’s your day, it’s what you want!” ignores the fact that the sisters are going to be your family now. You will have to see them regularly for years. So, you can be inclusive and start things out on a good footing or you can say “it’s all about meeeee and what I want!”  Your choice.

Personally I’m willing to bet that after 10 years a large percentage of the me me me brides will be divorced. 

Post # 8
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2020

If your fiance isn’t close to them, then I wouldn’t have them as bridesmaids. If he is, then I would highly consider it as they will be a part of your life from this point foreward, and it helps you get off on a good foot.

I’m not really close with my SO’s sister, but she is his only sibling, hence they are quite close, and I knew it would mean a lot for her to be included, so I didn’t hesitate in asking her to be a bridesmaid. In fact, she and my sister are the witnesses for our marriage certificate as well. I’m happy to include her.

On the other hand, my SO wasn’t sure whether to include my brother as a groomsman or not. They know each other pretty well, and he’s my only brother, but since he’s younger, my SO asked me. I talked to my brother about it, who would rather not have the attention, and came back to my SO saying he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to. My SO is still deciding, but the pressure of feeling obligated to is off of him.

For you, I would consult your fiance. He would have a much better idea of how they would react on being included, and will have an opinion of whether he wants them included or not.

Post # 9
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2016

You are not obliged to do it, and knowing that you are not close to them.

Post # 10
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I think it would be nice to have them as bridesmaids, but you absolutely don’t have to, especially if you aren’t close to them at all. It also depends on the size of the wedding. If you’re having a small wedding, more than 3 bridesmaids would be too much so it makes sense you wouldn’t also have his sisters as bridesmaids.

Personally, I will be having my SO’s sisters as my bridesmaids, in addition to my sisters and my best friends. I am fairly close with one, and on friendly terms with the other (she lives across the country). I think it’s a nice gesture, the first gesture that shows you view them as family now.

However, all families are different, all weddings are different, and just because it’s a nice gesture doesn’t mean it would be right for you to have them as bridesmaids.

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