(Closed) bridesmaids…

posted 9 years ago in October 2011
Post # 3
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@SweetieStef:Ask the people who mean the most and are going to be helpful and make your day wonderful and memorable.  No amount of obligation or guilt should make you pick someone to be in your wedding.

Post # 4
15 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

Here’s an option that might help – can you get any of those ladies to do a reading or sing a song during the ceremony? I have a newer girl friend who I would love to ask but I have the same worry that you do – that the bridal party is going to be too big so I asked her to do a reading during the ceremony.

Perhaps the other girls could host a bridal shower? I would say asking your Future Sister-In-Law is probably a nice thing since you’re probably going to be seeing her a lot in the future 🙂 your FBIL’s girlfriend though? That seems too much. Not to sound negative but I think inviting the girlfriend and asking her to part of the day is nice but I don’t think she should assume that she’s in the bridal party.

Sounds like your 2 friends who you feel close to are good friends. Good friends will understand if you don’t pick them. It’s not like you’re not inviting them to the wedding, right?

As for your cousin, that’s tough. I’m not particularly close with my girl cousins so I didn’t feel bad about not picking them. Could you ask her to hose the bridal shower?

Hope that helps a little.

Post # 5
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I agree with the above posters. 

I’m having 6 BMs (which is a lot) but it’s because I know those people are loyal, true friends. 

Two of the girls I don’t talk to all that often, but when we are together, it is like nothing has changed. They don’t cause drama and I wouldn’t have to worry about them being helpful or not. I have other friends that were on the “maybe” list – but we have had ups and downs and I didn’t want to chance one of our “downs” being my wedding day/week/etc. 

I’m giving those “maybe” friends roles in the wedding — like playing the piano, doing a reading, maintaining the guestbook, etc. It’s a nice way to incorporate them and make them feel loved without you having to stress over having EVERYONE in your bridal party. 


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