- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2012
I lived in Japan for two years, and while I was there, I was befriended by a wonderful lady I’ll call F. She became my best friend over there, and she and her family were the reason I kept my sanity at times. I love her to death, and I’m so excited that she’s going to be able to come all the way across the Pacific for my wedding. She’s never even left Japan before! She’s going to be a bridesmaid, and her two little girls are the flower girls.
Anyway, I would like for my girls to wear their hair up for the wedding. I’m not requiring them to have it professionally done because I wouldn’t do that unless I could afford to pay for them all, which I can’t. However, a few of them have mentioned that they would be interested in financing it themselves and joining me at the hair salon. Not all of them have talked about it, and I don’t know that all of them can afford it.
F is very good at doing hair; she’s taken a few classes recently, and her own hair always looks spectacular when she puts it up. I have no doubt that she is capable of doing her own and looking great. However, if several, or even all, of the other girls go to the salon with me, then I think that F would probably like to join, and I would love for her to have that experience with us.
The problem, however, is that I’m paying for all of F’s bridesmaid expenses and all the flower girl expenses for her daughters. If she can shell out the money for four trans-Pacific airplane tickets, a hotel and living expenses for a week, and everything else involved in a foreign vacation, then I’m certainly not going to ask her to pay for stuff on top of that. Bridesmaids and flower girls aren’t even really a thing in Japan, so I had to explain the whole concept to her, and I think F just believes that it’s normal for the bride to provide everything.
I don’t think I can afford to pay for F’s hair. Also, unless her girls were to come with us and I covered their hair, too, I just don’t even know what they would do while F was gone. Finally, my other BMs don’t know that I’m covering all of F’s costs. I don’t know how I could afford to bring her and her daughters along and how to pay discreetly in front of the other girls. Do you have any ideas for me?