(Closed) Bridesmaids and Mother of the bride not at shower?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’m sort of in the same situation (except my distance is only 2 hours…) and I really think at least your mother should be there. The few months leading up to the wedding are the important family-get-to-know-each-other time and every chance for a meeting should be taken.

 Also, will your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law attend your mother’s shower? If so, then it is only fair that your mother (and ideally your sister) come to the Chicago shower.

Post # 4
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’ve found that brides with geographically-challenged friends & families have had to bend the rules & traditions.  In a perfect world, you’d have one shower, but I’ve been to quite a few weddings where the bride had mutiple showers.

Keep in mind that people want to celebrate your happiness.  If it’s difficult for your family to travel, then be open about having separate celebrations, knowing that it’ll culminate with your fun wedding where everyone who can will make the effort to be together for that.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think it is understandable.  Go for the 2nd shower if you want!

I will probably be in a similar situation, but the shower will be hosted by an aunt.  My mother lives on the other side of the world (literally) and my sister (who is the Maid/Matron of Honor and my only attendent) lives about 2000 or 3000 miles away.  We will try to schedule the shower so that they can be there, but otherwise, probably won’t worry too much (my Future Mother-In-Law also lives about 1000 miles away, so I doubt she’ll be there either, although it is a bit more likely).

I think if *you* understand that wedding planning things are different when people live far away, others can deal too! 

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Its easy to say that people SHOULD travel for events like a shower – but travel is easier for some folks than for others.  If your actual family has difficulties with the travel to attend your FMIL-hosted shower, its just fine for them to throw another one.  My sister lives in New Mexico, my parents and I in Washington.  We didn’t go to her shower, AND we didn’t throw her another – as it was difficult for us to get down there and she didn’t want a second shower enough to travel up here (she has lived there a long time, and doesn’t have many friends left here, so a shower here would have been mostly our friends).  She and I agreed that it was fine for me not to travel for the shower (which, really, is a fairly minor event in the grand scheme of wedding-ness) – and I did travel for her bachelorette party the next month.  So whatever works for you and your various family groups is totally fine.  If everybody lived within an hour or two of each other it would be odd if they didn’t show up – seven hours its totally understandeable.

Post # 7
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

I’m in a similar situation…and thats what 2 showers are for ๐Ÿ™‚

If it causes stress for your friends and family to travel, I say its no big deal, especially because they want to throw you an additional shower.

 My mom and BM’s wont be attending my 2nd shower (thrown by my FI’s aunt 1/2 way across the country) and its really no biggie! 

Post # 8
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

oh yes, but they should still recieve an invite, with a phone call from you saying that you totally understand if they cant make it, but you would never NOT invite them ๐Ÿ™‚  Make sure they dont feel guilty…

Post # 10
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

Actually, I had my shower last weekend and my mother nor my Maid/Matron of Honor could be there. My Maid/Matron of Honor couldnt make it due to the storms last weekend and so the band played on as they say… Don’t stress about things that can’t be controlled. It causes gray hairs to come prematurely lol. ๐Ÿ™‚

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