(Closed) Bridesmaids are wrapped up in their own world

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sadly, this happens when you are the last to get married and your friends have moved on to the next chapters in their lives. 

But don’t be sad!  Your friends are still there for you.  

Post # 4
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I know it’s hard when they’ve moved on a bit from the whole “wedding phase” in life and are settling down with families and kids. I’m so sorry it’s making you sad, but try to remember how very lucky you are that you have so many dear friends to share this time with.

I’m positive that your friends still care that you’re getting married; unfortunately, they have a lot going on in their lives that demand their attention. But you still have plenty of time between now and your wedding to enjoy your time. 🙂

When is your bridal shower? Could you maybe arrange a bridesmaids/friends outing that will allow you to get all of your friends together for an evening dedicated to you and your wedding plans? Or maybe you can alternate baby-related outings with wedding-related ones.

What are some of the other things you feel like you’re missing out on?

Post # 5
698 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@snicoles: This was how my planning/wedding went down as well.   My best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor was more concerned with her own life and child than being a Maid/Matron of Honor.  She didn’t eben know the colors or the items I had made until the week of.  Always “too busy” blah blah.  I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in my other two girl’s weddings.  The one is now divorced and also couldn’t be bothered.   She waited till the last second to get her dress and was even late for the shower and wedding day.  My last Bridesmaid or Best Man had just found out she was pregnant with TRIPLETS.  So, everything was all about HER and the TRIPS.  Even on the wedding day she wouldn’t shut he hell up for one flipping second about THE TRIPS.  Totally stole my thunder.  My shower was a mish-mash of a gathering.  My Maid/Matron of Honor did fill out the invites, but didn’t follow through with any planning.  The other BMs also couldn’t be bothered with any planning, so it was really unorganized and I eneded up getting gift cards to CVS and ACME rather than MY HONEYMOON which is what we requested.  Annoying.  I’m still hearing about the TRIPS….

Post # 6
23 posts

@TheFutureMrsLamkin:  I’m sorry but:

 This was how my planning/wedding went down as well.   My best friend and Maid/Matron of Honor was more concerned with her own life and child than being a Maid/Matron of Honor. 

I think it’s natural for someone to put their lives and their child above being a Maid/Matron of Honor.  I think I’d probably be the same way.  Granted – if she knew you expected more of her she should not have agreed to be your Maid/Matron of Honor.  I’m sorry you had a crap time of it but I guess that’s the annoying con of being the last to get married.

Post # 7
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I too am the last of my friends/family to get married. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I know my bridal party cares for me as I’m sure yours does too. But I also get that the amount of time and effort you likely put towards their weddings does not compare to what you’re getting now. I have gone through moments of frustration and irritation at their lack of interest, but when it comes down to what really matters! It just doesn’t! It’s about you and your Fiance and the day will be what you make of it! Atleast that’s what I keep telling myself. Chin up and enjoy because you ‘hopefully’ only get to do this once!!

Post # 8
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I also want to add that on your wedding day, your bridesmaids will do everything they can to make your day perfect, and that’s what truly matters. Even though my BMs were great throughout the whole process, I’ll never forget the love and support they showed me on my wedding day!

Post # 9
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It stinks that they are not as involved in your wedding as you were in theirs, but that happens.  They will put their children first because a wedding is one day, a child is for life.  That doesn’t mean that they will pay you zero attention, but keep in mind that there are a lot more people and schedules to deal with once babies are involved. 

Don’t listen to the person who talked about babies stealing her thunder.  No one will steal your thunder on your wedding day.  Everyone knows you are the bride and will pay attention to you and your Fiance.

Post # 10
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Gemstone:  I totally agree!

And no matter what stage of life you and your BMs are in, everyone gets caught up in their own life. To the bride it is like, “OMG my wedding is in six months, I can’t believe it is so soon, there is still so much to get done!” For everyone else it’s like, “Their wedding isn’t for another six months, there is still plenty of time.” My BMs are not in the next life stage, but they still have plenty going on with college and their own jobs and relationships, it’s only nautral that they’ll be more caught up in their own lfie and problems and to-do lists than mine! Also, there are many bees who don’t have a bridal shower at all, they are throwing you a shower, be happy about that instead of looking for problems like them being picky about the date – they are the ones hosting it, they are allowed to be picky abour the date.

It seems every day someone has a post about being upset because their bridesmaids aren’t involved enough or don’t care enough…but it’s not their wedding, yet many brides seem to expect more support with planning from their BMs than from their FI! I say just focus on your and your Fiance and your plans, and I know my mom was also a good person to gush too, but don’t worry too much if your BMs aren’t all about your wedding – especially six months before it happens. The day of is what counts, and trust me, that day (and the events leading up to it, like your shower and bachelorette) will be all about you and your Fiance.

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