(Closed) Bridesmaids at Shower?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MrsVanSickle:  I would be upset since it was my sister. But that’s just me. :).

Post # 4
2324 posts
Buzzing bee

Hmm. i thought it was the BM’s who hosted the shower..

Post # 6
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Nic01: +1!

I too thought the BM’s hosted it. Either way, I think they should be there since they’re such a big part of the wedding, IMO.

Post # 7
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Depends on the church function I suppose. I think it would be nice for her to be there and if it is possible to cancel she should, but I don’t think they are expected to come. I ahd 3. My Maid/Matron of Honor hosted so she was obviously there, but my other two weren’t. One was in another state, and the other said she had things going on, and in order to keep the peace I just brushed it off and enjoyed my shower rather than create problems.

Post # 8
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

My shower & Bach party were both this past weekend… My Future Mother-In-Law & FI’s aunt threw my shower. 3 of my 4 BMs were in attendence including my Maid/Matron of Honor. The 4th only missed it b/c she was working and could not take off since she already took off for the wedding and such(we are getting married on a friday) but all 4 of my BMs were there for my bach party and it was a great time. I think BMs should make every effort to be in attendence…its not like you sprung the shower on them last minute!!

Post # 9
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I do think they should all be there, but what is the church function? Which did she ‘book’ first? Did your sister send out invites and she didn’t RSVP until she saw her? Also, if your sister is hosting, then she is technically the only one the bridesmaid NEEDS to tell she won’t bet here, although it would have been nice for her to tell you. I wouldn’t be offended, per se, just diappointed. Call her up and talk to her about it if you’re disappointed…and try to let it roll off your back. Enjoy your shower! 

Post # 10
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Meh…. attendance at pre-wedding events (other than the rehearsal) is optional. It would be nice if all maids were able to attend. But they do have lives of their own, and sometimes that have other obligations to attend to. So it’s really not that big of a deal.

Post # 11
3686 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

For the shower my Maid/Matron of Honor threw, one of the bridemaids couldn’t even be bothered to RSVP. My Maid/Matron of Honor emailed her I think three times and never got a response. I finally had to ask her if she was coming and her only response to me was, “No, I suck.” So yeah.

Post # 12
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I don’t blame you for wanting your bridemaids there. Especially your sister. But no matter what happens, don’t let that ruin your bridal shower experience. It’s a special time and you should ENJOY it! 🙂

Post # 13
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I think they should make every effort to be there. My mom’s neighbour is hosting my shower in my hometown (4 hours from where I live), and that’s the only shower I will be having. My Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 of 4 will be in attendance for sure, and I am really hoping #2 will come too (she’s not sure if she can make it to the rehearsal either….). My 4th Bridesmaid or Best Man won’t be around (she’s from New Zealand), but I knew that she wouldn’t be around until just before the wedding.

Post # 14
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

3/4 of my bridesmaids showed up at my bridal shower. One of my bridesmaids, my Future Sister-In-Law, didn’t come, nor did she tell me she wouldn’t be able to come. She simply asked her brother (my FH) if I would be upset if she couldn’t make it to the shower, but she didn’t explain why, which is a bit worse than your Bridesmaid or Best Man double-booking.


Nonetheless, I don’t think we should expect too much from our BMs. I was ripped a new one once on another forum when I asked if it was too much to expect BMs to attend events. People on that forum simply said a Bridesmaid or Best Man just shows up and wears the dress. What a bummer to hear!


But it’s definitely not something to be offended at. I’m sure your sister will be involved in other big events in your life, so you shouldn’t take offense with just one thing. I’m sorry if that sounds cruel. 🙁

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