(Closed) Bridesmaids boyfriend got into a fatal car accident, what do I do???

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
268 posts
Helper bee

The other thing I know my mom really appreciated on both occasions was help making “those calls”.  There is so much calling and arguing that gets freaking exhausting when someone dies.  You must call all relatives and let them know, you have to call credit card, banks, any subscriptions they had, their work etc, and my mom really appreciated that I did a lot of that for her, because saying the same things over and over again can be so difficult, and it can be difficult to fight when you’re so distraught and people take advantage of that.  For example, my brother had subscriptions on PayPal, and they refused to close his account and cancel the subs, so we really had to fight so that his savings wasn’t getting drained while we were planning the funeral.

The life insurance calls too will not be pleasant, and so many times they’ll try to void your policy for some ridiculous reason.

Post # 32
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

My dad died in February, so not the same as what your friend is going though, but it was still a tough time for me.  My friends were amazing and just did things because like another Bee said, I didn’t have the energy to call anyone.  They would text or call and say they are taking me to lunch, or they would bring my husband and I dinner one night, or, this may sound silly, but my friend’s husband mowed our lawn one day because my husband and I kept driving back to our hometown.  Little things like that meant a lot to us.

Offer to be there for her but also offer to do errands and other things for her.  I think she would appreciate it.  I’m so sorry for her loss.

Post # 33
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Another kinda weird thing that my mom used to do is drop off things like toilet paper, paper towels, and laundry soap. Just things that people don’t think about. And sometimes a lot of people bring food. But she always figured those were the things she would run low on and then not want to go to the store for. Also sometimes paper plates, thinking the last thing she wanted to do was dishes when she was upset. Also she’d send my brother/dad over to mow the lawn. 

Post # 34
191 posts
Blushing bee

I can’t imagine losing a boyfriend or husband, but my grandfather passed away three days before this past Christmas and it was horrible. I agree with one of the above posters about how you don’t necessarily need to wait for her to reach out. She isn’t probably going to. When my grandad died it was literally a blur for about a week and I hardly had my phone on me. We couldn’t have made it if it weren’t for the kindness of friends/family dropping in with food and kind thoughts. It really does help to feel that love. She may not be up for much, but she will let you know and she’s going to appreciate your effort and you being there for her. I’m sorry for your and her loss. 

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