Post # 1
I’ve been planning my wedding since I was a child. Let’s just get that out there. I’m one of *those* girls!
Nat, my best friend since I was 13 (she’s a few years older than me) was always going to be my bridesmaid and I even said she could be my Maid/Matron of Honor. When I got engaged I text her to tell her of the date we were thinking and that I’d have to come to her house when the ring arrived so she could see. I also wanted to “officially” ask her to be a bridesmaid as I had bought a necklace and earring set for them all.
She kept telling me she was busy, not in a mean or rude way, just busy, and so I’d wait a week or so and try again. Still busy or no reply. Last time I text her was around 2 months ago and she said she’d text me when she ws free. She’s deleted her Facebook and our working patterns aren’t great for me just dropping in on her.
Our wedding is in less than 3 months. I’ve been trying to contact her since June/July. What should I do?
I was originally going to have 4 bridesmaids and a bridesman – my best friend since I was born (our mums are best friends), my brother’s girlfriend, my soon-to-be SIL and the girl above. My brother and his girlfriend broke up around a month ago and I haven’t heard from Nat so that laves me with two.
Brother’s ex girlfriend is still “liking” my posts about the wedding and stuff on Facebook – do I have to tell her she’s no longer a bridesmaid or do you think she’ll just figure it out? She lives on the other side of the country!
Bridesman story now. This is a guy I’ve known for around 15 years. He’s actually my brother’s best friend but my brother and I are close so we always hung out together and his friends are like my brothers. When I first got engaged I told my brother not to tell anyone until the ring arrived and it was official. That night I got a call from bridesman and another friend wanting to know what their role in my wedding was – I didn’t have the heart to say they weren’t included so now they’re bridesman and ring-bearer, haha. I love them both dearly so I’m happy about it but people don’t get it. I’m not sure I do. what is the bridesman’s role? I say he’s like a groomsman but stands with my girls but is he supposed to get ready with us? Arrive at church with us? I’m not sure!
Our wedding is fairly laid back and we want evryone to be comfortable so I’m happy to not have the traditional stuff like “bridesmaid walks in with groomsman” etc.
Sorry if that’s a lot to take in, I guess I’m just wanting people’s advice and opinions?
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Banff, Alberta
@Bond-MrsBond: My brother is my man of honor. He will get ready with my dad, away from us. Then join us when it is time to walk down the aisle. I don’t want my dad seeing me before I am ready, but my brother can. If needed he will be the go between for any messages or issues that come up. The groomsmen’s job is to set up the chairs and decorations the morning of. Other than helping my mom where need be, wearing a matching suit, wearing a bout, standing next to me and signing as witness, he doesn’t have a job. If he wasn’t related to me and FH was okay with it they would all get ready together, but FH has 3 brothers who will all be staying in the hotel room, and another friend as Groomsmen so it will be crowded already. He will probably join the bachelore party if he comes into town soon enough. The guys will be up there waiting when the bridesmaids come in on their own.
Post # 4
I would not include someone who cant even come see me for 6 months. If she isnt interested enough to make a little time to spend with you just to talk then why would she be interested in being a bridesmaid. Then, you will have the stories that other bees have of bridesmaids that dont want to do anything (get fitted for or order a dress, attend events, etc). As far as the brother’s ex…that’s awkward. I think I wouldve deleted her off of my FB. Since you didnt and she clearly will see everything I think you need to tell her she isnt a bridesmaid.
We had an uneven bridal party because we had a groomsmen that told us he couldnt make it only 3 days before the wedding. Trust me, it made no difference…
Post # 5
Yeah, It didn’t end badly and he still has her on FB so we all just kept her on. they’d been together 4 years and I do miss her but I don’t think it would be appropriate, esp if my brother has a new girlfriend by then, which is pretty likely. I don’t want to hurt her and she’s so sensitive anyway. How would I tell her?
Post # 6
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@Bond-MrsBond: Why even bother with this girl anymore? You haven’t been able to chat or anything since summer … Well, she is obviously too busy for anything.
I don’t know what the issue is with the bridesman? I have a man of honour and he will be with us the entire day, except at the salon – but if you want to just ask what he is comfortable with re the getting ready. My Priest is even okay with it lol.
As for uneven numbers … No biggie. I know a few people who have had uneven numbers. I am having one, if not two less than Fiance (depending on what happens with one BM). So our wedding party may be my one female bridesmaid and man of honour, best man, and three other groomsmen.
Don’t stress 🙂 You will have the people with you that really want to be with you and are not too busy.