Post # 1
Alright, so we are very short on cash with a baby, bills, car payments, etc and when I got my dress my MOH/FSIL was there and paid for her dress because it was on sale for $10 but said if it needed to be altered I could pay for that or help pay for it because she know’s our financial situation. Well I found a dress that I like for my one other Bridesmaid or Best Man but it’s $80. I don’t have the money to buy it but I don’t want to ask her to pay for it if I’m supposed to. We decided to do different designs and colors but both strapless and the same basic length. Here is the dress I found that I want for my Bridesmaid or Best Man:
It would be in silver. It’s not my favorite that I found but it’s the cheaper of the 2. Here is the one I like better:
I just know I can’t afford $80 let alone the $100 that my favorite one requires. What should I do? I need people’s input please!
Post # 3
I have never been in a wedding or been to a wedding where the bride paid for the bridesmaids dresses. I think part of the responsibility of being in the wedding, is paying for your own dress (most of the time). Also, $80 is pretty reasonable for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress.
Post # 4
Your bridesmaids are supposed to pay for their own dress. However, if you can afford it, it is a nice gesture. However, it is not required of you. I’ve never been in a wedding where the bride payed for the dress, and I’m not paying for my girls’ dresses. Below is the “bridesmaid duties” from the Knot. Maybe it will help you feel better to see it’s proper etiquette for them to pay for their dress! Are you letting them choose their own dresses, or are you picking out multiples they can choose from? If you are letting them pick out their own completely, I would just show them the ones you like as guidelines and let them see if they can find a similar dress in their budget. 🙂
Here are a list of the bridemaids duties…via The Knot. Notice the second bullet point.
The bridesmaid is an integral part of any wedding, on hand to comfort, console, multitask, and party hearty at all bridal events. Whether it’s your first bridesmaid gig or your 50th, here’s a cheat sheet of your to-dos.
- Offer to help with prewedding tasks. Try to be specific when you volunteer. For example, say, “Would you like me to help you shop for bridesmaid dresses/stuff invitations/pack for the honeymoon?” instead of just, “What can I do?”
- Scout out bridesmaid dresses, shoes, jewelry, and other wedding accessories. Pay for the entire ensemble. (Break in your shoes before the wedding day — that will minimize slipping, blisters, and aching tootsies.)
- Help to plan, cohost, and pay for the bridal shower and bachelorette party with other bridesmaids.
- If the maid/matron of honor isn’t already handling this task, keep a record of all the gifts received at various parties and bridal showers (so that the bride/couple can write thank-you notes); maintain RSVP lists.
- Attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. (Keep abreast of allprewedding parties, and go to as many as possible.)
- Run last-minute errands. On the day of the wedding, be on hand to confirm flower delivery times, meet and greet the ceremony officiant, or satisfy junk food cravings.
- Stand in the receiving line at the bride’s request.
- Serve as auxiliary hostess at the reception by introducing guests, making sure they know where the bar is located, and inviting them to sign the guest book.
- Hit the dance floor when the music kicks in. Dance with groomsmen during the formal first-dance sequence. Also, be on the lookout for toe-tapping guests who might need encouragement and/or a dance partner.
- Give the matron/maid of honor a break by helping to carry the bride’s wedding gown train whenever necessary. Bustle the train before dancing begins, and be ready to help fix it if it comes unhooked. Accompany the bride on visits to the restroom, if asked.
- Purchase a wedding present perhaps with one or several of the other bridesmaids. This provides more buying power, and two heads are better than one when it comes to wedding gift ideas. Sometimes the entire bridesmaid troupe pitches in for one knock-her-socks-off wedding gift.
- Be a trooper, no matter how stressful the ordeal becomes. Try not to complain about the bridesmaid dress — even if the color is horrendous. Be gracious and tactful.
- Provide plenty of emotional support during the planning and on the wedding day.
Post # 5
Assuming you’re North American, it’s almost always the case that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses.
Post # 6
I am the only bride I’ve ever known who paid for her bridesmaid dresses. $80 is a good price to ask them to pay….but it’d be nice if you let them pick their own shoes and other parts of their outfit if you think they’re strapped on cash.
Post # 7
I was told that the bride is supposed to pay. I have only been in one wedding and all I did was go light candles at the front before the bride walked and then went back down the isle and out. My dad had bought us those dresses before so my sister and I already had everything to go with the wedding anyway and I have only been to one wedding with BM’s and the bride bought the dress so I thought that’s the way it was supposed to be.
Post # 8
Hello! Usually most people expect to pay for their bridal party wear. The gowns I chose were $200, and I paid $50 towards each gown and the shipping fees. We don’t bleed money so it’s so hard to decide where and when to pay!
Post # 9
I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man many times over and most of the time have paid for my own dress. There were a couple times that the bride did, but that’s a courtesy–it’s not the norm.
$100 isn’t bad. It’ll probably come out more like $150 with alterations, but in general, I’ve always figured I’d be shelling out around $200 for the dress.
Post # 10
@ejs4y8: I picked something cheap on purpose because I know I can’t afford anything but if she buys it I’m going to let her pick which one she wants and her shoes, jewelry, etc. I just want her to have light blue shoes with the silver dress and my Maid/Matron of Honor to have a light blue dress and silver shoes. I don’t really care about the style of shoes they wear or anything as long as they like them and are comfortable wearing them. If they can’t wear heals they can wear flats or if they want heals they can. I don’t care about little details I just want it to match my colors as closely as possible.
I just feel bad asking her to buy things because it’s MY wedding, not her’s. I hate asking people to do things they shouldn’t have to. I feel like I should pay but I can’t. 🙁 That’s why this is so hard.