(Closed) Bridesmaids cost spiraling out of control!!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Listen, you can’t let yourself feel guilt because of her extravegant choices. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it and that’s the bottom line. I think you should take a couple minutes to call her and say “Look, I love you and nothing would make me happier than to be there for you on your wedding day, but I can’t afford this and I’m thinking my only option now is to drop out, which I don’t want to do.”

See what she says. I have a feeling if you put all your cards on the table she will find a way to make it work. You can only do what you can. I know I sure couldn’t afford 2 grand for a wedding.

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow! That is completely unreasonable! What have you not yet paid for? Do the other bms feel this way also?

Post # 5
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Yeah, I can barely afford 2 grand for my own wedding…much less as a bridesmaid.  I’d do what KayElle said.

Post # 6
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Eeeek!  How can she “refuse to budge” on YOUR wallet?  I felt bad even asking my bridesmaids to be in my wedding because I knew it’d be an expense, and because most of them are from out of town.  I can’t imagine demanding anything from them!

Post # 7
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Whoa….considering that we spent just over $3000 for our entire wedding, spending $2000 to be a bridesmaid seems appalling! If you can’t afford it, don’t feel bad stepping down

Post # 8
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

Oh my goodness! You definitely need to talk to her. KatyElle said it perfectly, just make sure she know it’s about the money and not how much you value her friendship. 

Post # 9
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Holy cow!!  That’s absolutely ridiculous!  I would definitely be on the phone ASAP with this thread in front of you reciting what KatyElle said…. and maybe with a few more less graceful phrases thrown in too. 😉

No, but really, it’s way too much to expect and you need to be the one to step up and tell her.  When’s the wedding?  Are you already in so deep that you might as well suck it up?  Can you get back any of the 2k?  If you can’t, I would personally just go along with whatever has been paid for/planned, and tried to be economical for the rest of it.  If you can cancel rooms/dresses, etc, I would drop out.

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