Post # 1
I need some serious advice on this one… I agreed to be in a friends wedding last year when she first got engaged.
The wedding is right around the corner and the costs are quickly multiplying into something I definitely cannot afford. I did not know it was going to be a destination wedding when I signed up for this, nor did I know that she would demand a 3 day destination bachelorette in the presidential suite of a pricey hotel (no matter how many other more afordable but still wonderful options were presented)…
The price tag for the dress, alterations, shoes, hair/make-up, hosting the shower, attending the luxurious 3 day bachelorette (that the maids were supposed to plan, but she completely domineered), taking a day off work for the rehearsal, buying a gift, and hotel stay for the wedding, is tipping the scale at close to $2000.00!!!!
All of which, this bride expects us to pay for. I have tried to talk to her about cutting our costs down and she just gets upset refuses to budge. Do I drop out and ruin a friendship? $2000.00 is an enormous sum to ask your friends to pay… And I haven’t even told her that I cancelled my reservation at the hotel she wants us to stay at for the wedding (that I was originally pressured to booK) that is $600.00, and opted for a more economic option.
Post # 3
Listen, you can’t let yourself feel guilt because of her extravegant choices. If you can’t do it, you can’t do it and that’s the bottom line. I think you should take a couple minutes to call her and say “Look, I love you and nothing would make me happier than to be there for you on your wedding day, but I can’t afford this and I’m thinking my only option now is to drop out, which I don’t want to do.”
See what she says. I have a feeling if you put all your cards on the table she will find a way to make it work. You can only do what you can. I know I sure couldn’t afford 2 grand for a wedding.
Post # 4
Wow! That is completely unreasonable! What have you not yet paid for? Do the other bms feel this way also?
Post # 5
Yeah, I can barely afford 2 grand for my own wedding…much less as a bridesmaid. I’d do what KayElle said.
Post # 6
Eeeek! How can she “refuse to budge” on YOUR wallet? I felt bad even asking my bridesmaids to be in my wedding because I knew it’d be an expense, and because most of them are from out of town. I can’t imagine demanding anything from them!
Post # 7
Whoa….considering that we spent just over $3000 for our entire wedding, spending $2000 to be a bridesmaid seems appalling! If you can’t afford it, don’t feel bad stepping down
Post # 8
Oh my goodness! You definitely need to talk to her. KatyElle said it perfectly, just make sure she know it’s about the money and not how much you value her friendship.
Post # 9
Holy cow!! That’s absolutely ridiculous! I would definitely be on the phone ASAP with this thread in front of you reciting what KatyElle said…. and maybe with a few more less graceful phrases thrown in too. 😉
No, but really, it’s way too much to expect and you need to be the one to step up and tell her. When’s the wedding? Are you already in so deep that you might as well suck it up? Can you get back any of the 2k? If you can’t, I would personally just go along with whatever has been paid for/planned, and tried to be economical for the rest of it. If you can cancel rooms/dresses, etc, I would drop out.