Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2016 - Rustic secluded mountain lodge
My wedding is a bit less traditional, only 45 guests, and at a fairly small venue (secluded lodge in the mountains). There is a deck on the lodge and the ceremony will be there.
I have 4 best friends and 3 close cousins (like sister-close) and a future step-daughter.
I feel like 8 bridesmaids is odd for the kind of wedding we are having, but I feel I need to include all of them or either just the friends or just the cousins, and my future Step-daughter for sure either way. I worry that if I don’t include all of them some of them will feel left out, which has me also considering zero bridesmaids.
My Fiance only has one best friend and it’s his brother. There wouldn’t be any other groomsmen.
There is only really room on the deck for a couple people standing and I also thought it would be simple and romantic if the music started and I walked down the aisle without any people before.
Anyone out there have/have had this problem? At ideas? Thanks Bees!! ❤️
Post # 2
With a wedding that size, and cousins as close as sisters, I don’t think there is room for your friends. I say stepdaughter only, or cousins and stepdaughter. Your future stepdaughter could also stand on her father’s side to even the numbers out a bit.
Post # 3
I would have the stepdaughter only. She will feel so honored and the no one else will feel slighted. No one would expect 8 bridesmaids at a 45 person wedding.
Post # 4
Another vote for step daughter only. You could still have all your girls come get ready with you, but a huge bridal party at such an intimate wedding would look very odd.
Post # 5
4th vote for step-daughter only!
Or as aussiemum1248: mentioned have your cousins and stepdaughter (and she can stand on your FIs side if you’re worried about space).
Post # 6
I had similar issue! My babes had one best friend ( who sadly passed away couple months after we got engaged ) & I have 2 brothers. I didn’t want to have a bunch a bridesmaids & only 2 groomsmen- I was so torn on what to do. I ended up picking my cousin, stepdaughter,& his sister. But I really hurt my best friends feelings! So, just recently decided to include her so now I have 4 girls & he has 2 groomsmen. Mine is a bit different from yours b/c we do have the room & we’re having around 100 guests. But I’d say go with what truly makes you happy! This is a special day and your gonna want to surround yourself with the people your closest to. What made me add my best friend was just thinking about wanting her to be a part of things,& thinking of like the morning of my wedding I know I’m going to want her there, sharing that time with me. You just need to think everything threw and do what makes you happy. If deep down you want all 8 but your just concerned with how it will look I say have all 8! But if deep down you don’t want that big wedding party but your just trying to spare hurt feelings then that’s sifferent. Maybe pick the step daughter & one person who your closest too.. Is that an option?
Post # 7
- Wedding: May 2014 - hallockville museum farm
I vote step daughter only. If you explain the situation to the other girls, I’m sure they will understand and won’t feel left out.
Post # 9
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
I vote step daughter only as well.
Post # 11
I agree with futureMrsHidalgo, do what is going to make you happy and involve those who you want to surround you and be there the night before, the morning of and throughout the day.
My ceremony only had 20 people and was in a backyard so having tones of people standing up would have just been awkward. My husband only wanted a Bridesmaid or Best Man and my sister automatically took the Maid/Matron of Honor role and my two close friends sat in the seating during our ceremony. My Maid/Matron of Honor walked down the aisle after the flower girls. (I wasn’t going to have to have anyone walk down the aisle except for me but I got young nieces with the marriage and it was the first thing they asked us when we got engaged – I couldn’t say no.)
I explained to my close friends the situation and asked if they didn’t mind being bridesmaids who don’t walk down the aisle. They understood. I also made sure to have bouquets for them.
I was worried about our photos not being symmetrical/balanced with 4 women and 2 men but after viewing a few online I just went for it. The photos didn’t look awkward – they look like an awesome group of friends having a fantastic time. I don’t regret it at all. There is a lot of charm into being offbeat and non-traditional! 🙂
My advice is to choose one person to witness for you, step-daughter would be the easiest (that might depend on the age of her though – depending on the province she might have to be a certain age to sign the marriage) and make them the Maid/Matron of Honor, this will be the person standing up for you and who will hold your flowers etc. Have the rest of the 7 sit behind your immediate family. If you’re doing formal walk-ins you could even have them walk in before the groom and parents just to highlight their roles a bit. Hope that helps!
Post # 12
- Wedding: August 2016 - Rustic secluded mountain lodge
Thanks Bees! Very helpful and puts my mind at ease.
clovesa2015: great idea! Thanks so much! My step-daughter is 15, she will be 16 when the wedding happens but I think you have to be 18+ to sign. I love the idea of highlighting their roles without doing the formal standing arrangement. Thanks again!
Post # 13
britwolf: Any adult can sign the certificate. It doesn’t need to be someone from the bridal party.
Post # 14
britwolf: That is a tricky one, I had a similar dilemma as I have a huge VERY close family and wanted everyone involved in some way. I have 5 siblings and 5 cousins who I am extremely close to (we are basically like siblings as well) – I ended up having my four best friends as my bridesmaids but had all my siblings/cousins walk down the aisle first. It was really special and I loved it, they loved it too.
We had 100 guests though so I think the size of the wedding does play in to it – I think it would mean the world to your step-daughter if she had a special part in your wedding. I would be tempted if I were you to simply have her. Keep it sweet and simple (if that’s your thing) – i’m sure it would be really special for your hubby to be too.
Having to choose from the rest would be really tricky! If they are really good, close friends/relatives then they will understand, they wouldn’t want you to stress over it! With a smaller wedding, everyone will feel they have a special place there anyway 🙂
Post # 15
britwolf: No problem, it’s difficult when you’re thinking about not sticking to tradition. I hope you have a beautiful wedding – my first choice was the rockies but it didn’t work out!