(Closed) Bridesmaids Disagree About Gifts

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Bee
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Father's Vineyard Church/ A Touch of Class Banquet Center

They are gifts for a reason. I would say no. While it is very kind to keep in mind things they may like, it’s not a gift if they are telling you what the gift is, at least in my opinion. Honestly, Bridesmaid or Best Man 2 sounds like a spoiled child by saying that. She should be grateful for the gift. I would just tell them that they don’t have to wear any jewelery if it’s that big of a problem and give them the gifts that you worked so hard on.

Post # 4
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Um, I wouldn’t even tell my BMs what I am getting them as a gift….it’s a gift and for good reason…if anyone has a problem with it than they are very ungrateful in my opinion. You are getting them a gift to do something nice and they should recognize that. Sorry you have to deal with this 🙁

Post # 5
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

They should appreciate your thoughtfulness. If they can’t afford to buy a necklace maybe they could borrow one. You have enough to worry about. They should not expect you to return the gifts you are giving them. 

Post # 7
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with all PPs. How rude to dictate what they think their gift should be!

Post # 8
Member
399 posts
Helper bee

WOW. Bridesmaid or Best Man2 sounds like a superbitch. Bridesmaid or Best Man1 can get fake gold tone jewelry for less tahn ten bucks. Sounds like you picked the right lady for Maid/Matron of Honor. Gifts are Gifts. once tehy are given, its up to the recipient what they do with them. My BMs will be super surprised when I give them their gifts on the night before the wedding

Post # 9
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I also agree with everyone else – I think you’ve gone above & beyond for gifts and they should be thankful!!

Post # 10
Member
8432 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Whilst I agree with everyone else about the gift thing, I am of the opposing opinion on the necklace thing. If you are requiring them to wear a gold necklace as part of their outfit then you should pay for it. I can undertand Bridesmaid or Best Man2 being upset over having to fork out cash to buy a piece of gold jewellery that she is probably never going to wear again for your wedding.

Maybe just let them knwo that they can accessorise how they like. Honestly no one will even notice what the BM’s are wearing as jeweller unless it is something outrageous!

Post # 11
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think the gifts you are giving them are better than jewelery, I have been a bridesmaid 10 times and would have prefered your gifts. HOWEVER, I agree with J Jaye- if you are expecting them to wear gold jewelery then I can understand them being upset because bridesmaid costs do add up. I personally do not plan on giving my Bridesmaid or Best Man jewelery to wear either because having received lots of stuff that I wouldn’t really wear / use again I’ve decided I want to give  a more practical gift. For example, I’m thinking about getting my 2 MOHs a trip to a day spa for all their hard work. That being said, I am not telling them what jewelery they should wear, otherwise I’d feel like I should provide it. Finally, having said all that…your BM’s do sound like they’re being a bit childish.

Post # 12
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I agree with PP… I would let them know that jewlery is to be gold colored.  If they do not have any, you might offer to lend them some of yours (if you have some) or they don’t need to wear any at all.  personally, I don’t own any gold jewlery but always love an excuse to buy stuff- even if it’s the cheap costume stuff.  BMs #2 and #3 are being babies.

I would probably go as far as offering them ideas of inexpensive gold colored jewelry.   In fact, check out these options that won’t even make a dent in your wallet:

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=acc_necklace&ProductID=1000028051&VariantID=

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=acc_necklace&ProductID=1000030595&VariantID=

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=acc_necklace&ProductID=1015035608&VariantID=

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=acc_necklace&ProductID=1000031925&VariantID=

 

Post # 13
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

“BM2: GOT SUPER UPSET because it is “traditional” for the Bride to give necklaces and that’s what she was “expecting” and she doesn’t own anything, blah blah blah.”

That’s the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! I have been a bridesmaids 4 times ans only once did the bride give a necklace. Since when do bridesmaids have a say in what gift they get? Are you kidding me!?

Post # 14
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think your BMs are ungrateful for telling you what to gift them. BUT I can totally understand them not wanting to buy new jewelry for your wedding. Maybe offer to let them borrow some of yours or give them the option to not wear any jewelry instead.

Post # 15
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Like everyone else has already said….selfish and ungrateful is the vibe that I’m getting!

They can certainly borrow jewelry or buy a fake gold necklace…or you could just not worry about the jewelry.

I certainly wouldn’t buy Bridesmaid or Best Man2 the necklace anyway…that’s like giving a kid throwing a tantrum what they want!

Post # 16
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That is SO rude of your bridal party, IMO.  A gift is a gift and I am sure someone has gold jewelery that they can borrow… not a big deal!

The topic ‘Bridesmaids Disagree About Gifts’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors