(Closed) Bridesmaids don't like the style of dress I would like for them to wear.

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: If neither me nor the bridesmaids like the dresses the other picks, who gets to choose?

    The bride

    The bridesmaids

  • Post # 2
    Member
    6606 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Ideally, you will all keep looking until you find something everyone likes. Now, i know this doesn’t always happen, but that’s the way it SHOULD work, because no bride should be made to feel like she doesn’t like the bridesmaid dresses, but no bridesmaid should be made to feel like she is wearing something she hates. If you absolutely insist on getting your way and don’t want to continue looking for a compromise, then I’d suggest you pay for the dresses, because the only thing worse than being forced to wear a dress you hate is having to spend $100-200 (or more) for the privelege.

    Post # 3
    Member
    6257 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Short and floral or long and plain are good compromises. I know I’d hate to be dressed in something I didn’t like at all, so give half of what they want and keep the other half your way.  And yes, ultimately it’s your choice but not necessarily worth burning bridges over.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2356 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    Honestly, I think the bride gets to choose the dress. If she would like to let her bridesmaids choose their own dresses, that’s her prerogative – but even then, she’s completely within her rights to choose the style, length and colour. I’m pretty sure that my bridesmaids didn’t love the dress I picked, but they all said they would happily wear it if I liked it and it was what I wanted (plus, I think they liked that it was flattering on all of their different body types).

    Post # 5
    Member
    5985 posts
    Bee Keeper

    what does the dress look like?

    Post # 7
    Member
    832 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I don’t understand why bridesmaids need special dresses.  Who cares what they wear???  They’re not photo props.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2722 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    View original reply
    scipioblack :  Can you post a picture of the dress you like?  I have to be honest, when I hear “floor length floral” pattern I don’t picture something I would like to wear.  Florals are hard to wear in my opinion and I find they’re more casual than formal.

    Ideally, you should pay for the dresses if you are insiting on having all the say.  I know that’s not the norm in the US but I’ve worn some pretty ugly Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses in my years and I’ve always hated having to suck it up and pay for a dress that I’ll never wear again.

    What I did with my bridesmaids was go shopping together and I decided on one designer (after having the 4 of them try on several dresses) and let them pick from that designer.  I am also paying for half since they’re not super cheap (we got them at Nordstrom).

    Post # 9
    Member
    2260 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Just be careful that there isn’t a different reason they don’t like it.  Its is very revealing, for example?  No bride should make the bms where a dress they are totally uncomfortable in.

    Post # 10
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee

    I think if their problem is only that they would prefer another style of dress, they kind of need to suck it up- although I don’t think it’s fair to make them pay a fortune for a dress they hate, either.

    If they actually feel uncomfortable in the dress for whatever reason, then I think a comprimise is in order.

    Post # 12
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    fredthebasil :  I think the dresses help differentiate them as “special,” which is nice if the whole point of having bridesmaids is to honor a friend. Sure, they’re not photo props, but I’ve definitely gotten dressed in matching outfits for family photos before to take special pictures, so I kind of think of this the same way.

    ETA to put in the actual advice I forgot about (oops) OP, I’d ask the bridesmaids what specifically they don’t like about your idea for dresses, and see if there’s a way to give them a little bit of what they want– maybe long and with small/fewer flowers, if they don’t like the floral look. I also think paying for them yourself if possible would be a good idea.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1449 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    I think it’s technically your choice, but I don’t understand why fight. They are the ones who have to wear them so let them wear what they actually want and feel most comfortable in. You can always accessorize or have nice bouquets. I just don’t see the point since no one is going to care what the bridesmaids look like. Everyone will be looking at the bride and groom anyways. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    Are you sure it’s the color/length they don’t like? My body would look like a sack of potatos in that dress. I actually like the style.. Just not on me. Maybe there’s a bigger issue and they’re using the printed color as an excuse? 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1449 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    scipioblack :  if someone is anything larger than a size 2, they may feel very uncomfortable in that dress. The lack of structure can be unflattering. If someone is plus size, the large flowers can make them feel like a couch or curtains. 

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