- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
So, my brother’s fiance asked me to be in her wedding with her two best friends. Needless to say, I was more than honoured – I was ecstatic. She’s decided that since she loves all of us the same, she won’t be selecting an Maid/Matron of Honor, which is fine – however, my brother selected his best friend has his best man, and the best man’s fiance is one of the bridesmaids, so I can only assume the ‘MOH’ thing will fall to her – let’s call her B. So, there’s B, the other girl (W) and me. They’re getting married next month.
I waited until May to start talking to the girls, as I know they know eachother but they didn’t know me. I asked them numerous times if they’d like to get together for a meet and greet, but was met with silence or excuses. Then, I tried to start to get the ball rolling on a stagette. Nothing. I poked, proded, sent lists of dates, nothing. Finally, in July, W conceeded that perhaps it was time to start nailing a date down. Ya think?! So, we went with a weekend in August. Perfect. I then nailed down a date for the shower, which I’d need to host due to space issues. It was for September. Fabulous.
The stagette – The girls weren’t willing to plan much, so I worked on an itinerary and plans. I booked the hotel, figured out logistics, assigned tasks, and went ahead. Then one of the girls realized that her sister was getting married that weekend, so we had to reschedule two weeks before the party. (…) So, I rebooked things. Then, B decided that we didn’t get a fancy enough hotel room, so could I please look into something better. It wasn’t available. She kept harping, but, oddly enough, it didn’t become available no matter how hard she nagged. (Go figure). Knowing that both girls weren’t in a great position financially, I made sure to outline how we would split costs evenly, but would look for low-price yet awesome things. Come the actual day of the stagette, I had purchased all of the food and the booze, which equalled out to $150. B made cupcakes. W bought streamers. W, in all her wisdom, said that we shoudl just call it even. That’s when I should have known it was going to go downhill… Then, my soon-to-be SIL’s friend showed up. That night, I paid for the hotel, all food and drinks at the pub, and breakfast – a bill that totalled $500. I have yet to be paid for any of it from anyone, despit assurances that they’ll “get me back”.
The shower – I planned the shower, went about things the same way as I did the stagette. My grandmother contributed a ton of food because that’s what she does. I spent about $200 on gifts, food, etc. W didn’t show up due to a hang over, but sent along dollar store streamers and her contribution of games, which was four games written down sloppily on looseleaf. B brought cheese. I guess we’re calling that even too…?
Girls, all in all I’ve spent nearly $1000 on a wedding. I’ve planned everything. I’m stunned at how poorly my future SIL’s friends are acting, I’m broke (we’re trying to pay off debt to start a family, so I’m extra stressed about cash right now), and, really, I’ve received zero recognition, save for my husband’s hugs, my mom’s sympathy and my SIL’s mom (who did give me a lovely hostess gift of homemade jam – love it!).
I don’t know how to go about saying more to the girls. I need to be paid back, and I worry that the wedding day (and the day before) will only result in more financial hardship and frustration. Help? What should I do?